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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

How do you get over someone?

I liked this guy for a long time. I was taken by surprise how much he liked me as well but we are both married  so we stayed friends and said we’ll get together if our marriage don’t work out so we waited out for each other but then by waiting for each other to be ready became an issue. We fought everyday. He became very stalkerish and scary..always wanting to know what I did with my husband or where I went with him. He would get very upset when he see me with my husband and confronts me about it. He’ll threaten to tell my husband if I don’t give him an answer. After 4-5 months into this, I decided to pull myself away. I know he loves me and I love him but we just can’t be together. A lot of people start to question me and it scared me. If his wife or my husband finds out about this, I’m dead. 

I can’t stop thinking and longing for him. Its painful and I’ve been crying so much lately. I want to be with him so badly because of how much he wants me. I stop having sex with my husband because I could only imagine myself having sex with him. I stop eating and I’m depress. Everything in my life changed. I miss him and I feel very bad for leaving him in the cold like that and he feels I didn’t chose him. I feel sad. I truly feel in my guts, this is my guy/soulmate, who I truly destined to be with but I don’t want to hurt my generous, faithful and hardworking husband. 

5 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    You have to force yourself. Every time you think of the wrong guy, replace his image in your mind with that of your husband. Think of every bad thing the wrong guy has done and focus on those things. You have to trick your brain into moving on, basically. 

  • d j
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    You choose to be faithful and loyal to someone who is cheating on his spouse. 

    You need to really question yourself whether you're his lover or prey. Perhaps the reason he chose you as potential victim is because you're a married woman.

    Married woman are easier to violate. 

    He gained your trust and I'm sure knows a lot about your private life than you do about his.

    He knows he can control you based on that. He can stay married to his spouse and still be in a relationship with you without the fear of you exposing him.

    A married woman would choose to suffer instead of reporting it to her husband because she fears of losing both the husband and lover. He knows you got nowhere to run or hide.

    A husband may not shower his wife with compliments and attention but that doesn't mean he doesn't love or respect her.

    You mentioned that your husband is faithful, generous and hardworking but see how you're rewarding him back.

    This guy who claims to be your lover is unfaithful, controlling, threatening and intimidating. He's making you miserable already and he's not even related to you.

    Do the crime, do the time. That's all you can do for now.

    Be willing to accept the consequences. By creating distance from this guy, you're doing the right thing.

    If you avoid him as much as possible, no one would believe his lies.

  • i + i
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    "... I know he loves me ..." -- 

    No, you do not know this. 

    If he truly loved you, you 

    would not be having to 

    live in fear of his threats. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You need to try to forget about him and move on I know you might not see it but he's toxic and a narcist in my opinon and I can tell you right now even if you were to divorce your husband and be with him the relationship isn't going to work out it's just going to be toxic cause there is too many red flags. You should look into seeing a therapist because of what this scum bag has done to you mentally trust me when I say this that this guy is no good for you and you should like I mentioned above forget about this guy and move on and work on yourself, even if you can't see yourself being happy with your husband take some time to work on yourself cause I can tell you this right now if you were to get with this man you are going to lose yourself and no man in the entire universe is worth losing yourself over you should always come first no matter what I know you're likely not to take this advice but please take off the blinds you seem to be wearing when thinking about this man and take care of yourself and seek help there is no shame in doing so, I wish nothing but the best for you and hope you can become happy once again <3

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  • martin
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Let your daily routine take you to different places than the ones you frequented together.

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