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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 2 months ago

Is it silly to hold a grudge for something that happened 3 years ago?

My sister didn't make me a bridesmaid for her wedding so I decided to skip it altogether, I haven't talked to her since because I'm still fuming over her choice to not have me as a bridesmaid and she still has yet to apologize for it. How can I get over this? Making up is not an option because she won't listen

 

16 Answers

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  • Ann
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    It sounds to me as if you were the one who was initially in the wrong.  Your sister wasn't obligated to have you as her bridesmaid.  You got in a royal snit and quit speaking to her altogether.  She is not required to apologize to you.  If you want to carry a grudge over this forever, then you're the one who is the loser all the way around.  I suspect there may have been a very good reason for her not asking you, because your attitude in your post indicates that you're a tantrum thrower and a pouter/sulker.  She probably wants nothing to do with you.  You need professional help.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    This situation you created is childish. Like a spoiled little brat, you did not attend your sister's wedding because you were not her bridesmaid? Wow. You need to come to terms with the fact that you screwed up.

    She owes you ZERO apology. Your entitlement issues are underwhelming.

    If you want to get over your infantile grudge, then begin by forgiving yourself for boycotting her wedding and making it all about thyself. 

    You purposely boycotted your sister's wedding and you think SHE owes you an apology? you are one misguided individual.

    You owe HER an apology. not the other way around. And yes, you are silly, very silly.

  • 2 months ago

    I can't imagine why she didn't ask you.  

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Honestly, being a bridesmaids is one of the most thankless position that exists. You get to pay, almost always more than you agreed to, to cater to someone who nine times out of 10 becomes a petulant child and makes your life miserable for the better part of a year. It's hard to me to even fathom why someone would be upset to not have to subject themselves to that role. 

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  • Trish
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    Tell her how much it hurt and you would appreciate being included in her life...then take it from there.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    oh jesus christ.... just because you weren't a bridesmaid doesn't mean you should be bitter about it! sorry. what's done is done. move on! she doesn't have to apologize for anything. you didn't even go to your own sisters wedding because of that. you don't have the right to be mad, if anything i'm assuming your sister is way more upset at you for not attending...

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Yes. Holding a grudge only hurts you.

    The reason for being upset is also very silly and immature. iT seems like you are looking for reasons to be angry and offended.  Those are always choices.  How you get over it is also a choice.  You simply realize how foolish and damaging this behavior is and you decide t let it go.  If you can't, get therapy or read some self-help books on the subject.

  • drip
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Your sister did nothing wrong. You were the one who acted immature and mean.  You didn’t skip her wedding, you made a big deal of the whole thing and you boycotted her wedding.

    It sounds like she made the right choice not to have you as a bridesmaid if this is how you act.

  • 2 months ago

    Honest but brutal answer---just STOP---both of you are acting like children over basically when compared to the things that really matter in this life that we are given is silly. Fuming after 3 yrs. what a waste--no matter what she does/did you have wasted 3 years of your life. Life is too short to waste.  I know you love her and you should forgive her and get on with it no matter what she does--YOU have to be the stronger one-give in, don't do something you will regret, keep trying.  She is still also being silly.  Write her a letter stating how you feel, apologize--yes for your actions and keep writing-once a month (fill her in with the details of your life your family whatever she does like know, Mom and Pop, Aunt Lydia, the kids, whatever she does not or will not know about -make her feel like look at what I am missing, don't say it, let her come to that conclusion, you don't want to make her feel bullied or pushed---enclose pictures), that you are over it and just want to be sisters even if she won't apologize. Making up is always an option//keep going till you get to her heart.....don't stop!! send her cards for every occasion, flowers on her birthday, something nice at Christmas. Again, YOU in this situation since you are the one that wrote your question have to be the stronger in this non-relationship.  Don't lose your sister over this.  I am older and have no one left and how do I miss them!!!!! 

  • 2 months ago

    Yes, get over it. If you're not close, there's no reason she should have picked you as a bridesmaid (and apparently you're really not...).

    She doesn't have to listen, as it's in the past and she made the right decision for her. Brides are the only one who get a say on who their bridesmaids are - and they tend to pick those they're closest to, not necessarily those who they're related to.

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