Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 1 month ago

Am I the asshole?

AITA for choosing a wedding date 6 weeks after my fiancée’s brother and his fiancé’s new wedding date? 

They were engaged first and have been 2+ years. They were originally supposed to have a large wedding last July but postponed to April. 

We had been waiting to get engaged until after their original wedding date so we got engaged in October. We have always wanted a small destination wedding/elopement and short engagement (start family soon). We originally asked everyone’s thoughts on dates/ locations as we wanted to make sure people felt safe/no one had conflicts. Everyone was happy to travel to Florida except his brother’s fiancé. She complained they were using a lot of time off/$ for their honeymoon/wedding and that she would prefer it to be local in August. So my fiancé and I took that into account as we  chose Sunday of Memorial Day weekend to avoid using PTO. We asked my parents to pay for our siblings for travel/flights and his parents to pay for theirs instead of helping with wedding costs. We even explained how late summer/fall wouldn’t work for my family in school and how dates were filled for 2021 locally with all the postponements. My bridal events will all take place after their wedding so there is no crossover as we will be throwing a celebration party when we return at the end of June (shower in May). 

She has always been mean/rude before our engagements so we have done more than enough in my opinion. 

17 Answers

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  • L
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Get married when ever you want..........................

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    The only reason to schedule your wedding around a family member's wedding is to avoid guest burnout as you'd probably be inviting the same people and weddings tend to be exhausting and expensive to attend. Six weeks is probably long enough between to let people catch their breath. But never look for reason in a bride-to-be. Some people just get in their heads that the world should stop turning while they're having their moment in the sun. She'll get over it once serious life issues intervene.  

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

     If you're begging said question than it's possibly so zxj

     . . . . . . . . . .

    🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳

  • Trish
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    I don't understand why you postponed getting engaged then bend over backwards to ensure everyone can make it... sounds like you only got engaged because your fbil is getting married.  Typical story here on YA though.  You don't appear an ahold in your words but there was no need to bash anyone in the end of your post so maybe you are.

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  • 1 month ago

    Each couple gets ONE DAY for their wedding. 

    You're not the asshole for this. It shouldn't even be an issue.

    (Obviously planning a wedding during a pandemic IS an asshole move; but that's a different issue)

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    For crying out LOUD...

    Plan YOUR wedding as You want. 

    Send invitations.

    Whomever can make it will be there.

    End of Story!

    Forego all the created drama.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    you're an as*hole anyways if you're going to have a wedding during a pandemic.

  • 1 month ago

    You can't please everyone.  Any time someone choose to have a destination wedding, it is going to cause problems for other people.  If your respective parents are willing to foot the bill for your respective siblings and significant others to attend, the issue isn't money.

    This type of problem is best sorted brother-to-brother.  It is likely that your future sister-in-law doesn't like you and doesn't like her fiancé 's family.  She isn't going to be happy about any option.  It is up to your fiancé to talk privately with his brother and get to the bottom of the problem.  Your FSIL doesn't have to attend if she doesn't want to.  

  • drip
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    What ever date you pick there will be someone who has a problem with it. Don’t worry about it. Have your groom talk direct to his brother. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    No. They had their wedding day and it's over. Now it's your turn. Tell that selfish ***** there is more than one spotlight to be seen in "and no one is trying to take yours." 

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