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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 3 months ago

This misunderstanding with my friend has ruined my life what should i do?

I hate texting! So does she!

But we arranged to meet up again and i got a bit carried away with excitement and texted her for a few days straight. I said sorry to bug. Then i decided to leave her alone for a bit but then my grandma nearly died and this made me behave really erratically and i became clingy with my friends and kept texting them random questions every few weeks for about a month. No one replied to anything i asked, there were maybe 15 unanswered texts. I asked her is she still ok with me and last time i text she turned her phone off. This was a few months back now. Obviously at the time i didn't realise what i was doing wrong but it hit home recently and i feel like she thinks i was stalking her which has made me so depressed, especially since we've both been stalked in the past. I've written her a sincere apology letter that will be sent after lockdown please help how do i get the friendship back? I wasn't even stalking her ffs

15 Answers

  • Carmen
    Lv 5
    3 months ago

    Hello concerned one tahr some deep breaths pray for a calm heart try to regain your peace of mind and send the apology letter no one knows when Pandemic might end and tomorrow not promised to any of us at least you would of took a first step. Then if or when she receives letter it’s her choice what to do next. Time either heals things or make them worse so be patient hopefully you will get a positive response back. Keep moving forward. 

  • 3 months ago

    I think she’s the problem, not you 

  • jim
    Lv 4
    3 months ago

    Talk to a professional 

  • 3 months ago

    If friends can't handle a few question, every couple of weeks, then they aren't very good friends. 

    Even if you texted her a few days straight, so what?

    She must not have been very involved in you, or care

    very much about how you feel, if she never responded

    even once. 

    It's time for you to move on, and ignore her.

    If you could control yourself, and don't text her,

    she may begin to wonder what happen to you. 

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  • 3 months ago

    This is very similar to my situation but yours is more serious! I feel someone who actually cares about you would want to help and care. If you told her what happened and she still feels this way it's best to find a new friend. I know how hard it can be. Some people are too selfish to care about others pain. 

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    What should you do? 

    Ring the ***** up and tell her exactly how you feel

    No one deserves to feel like this, even if they committed a really serious crime or something

    And btw, there is nothing wrong with what you have done. It's her who is in the wrong here

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    She needs to face up to what she's done to you. She needs to face the music and realise it was her silence that caused all this at a particularly challenging time for you. When people feel like others think they're something they're not, it can cause them to feel suicidal. So I would strongly suggest asking someone to talk to her, send the letter but also explain just how badly this has affected you. It's not right that she has not taken responsibility for her own actions. What you have done is not even bad, but if it's given you depression then she needs to know this. Because depression really can lead to suicide. And she will have to live with that for the rest of her life. But you know what? She deserves to. She abandoned her friend when you needed her most. And that is unforgivable.

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    You don't deserve to feel like this. Like others said, you have done nothing wrong. All you did was try to talk to your friends! But you were not in the right mindset to really acknowledge they weren't replying. The number of texts is irrelevant. If she has said you stalked her without bothering to listen to your explanation, you shouldn't want her friendship back. She is not worth it at all! If I were you, i wouldn't even send the letter. You know why? Because she doesn't deserve your friendship

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    No stalking is a form of domestic violence and the two are comnected in the sense that stalking follows physical violence. It can be a stranger doing that and of course that is scary as why would a stranger do that? Irrational behaviour. 

    And harassment involves threats or racially charged comments. You did nothing illegal. 

    If someone is saying that about you without any reason however that is what stalking is and it would be worrying. 

    Maybe your friend is just away or maybe has a new number or something happened. 

    Texting is never illegal as you don't even have texting quotas. But clearly if it is a complete stranger then is weird. I also get nuisance calls from strangers and I don't answer.  

    I mean you had a bad exp almost it won't mean that it is your fault so it's weird to feel guilty and it would be even worse to take advantage of it, but it does happen people lose faith in others when bad things happen as long as you are not hurting anybody. 

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    My first thought would be why are you trying to get her friendship back? I only ask this because if she really does think you're a stalker without trying to find out the circumstances behind your unusual behaviour, that means she is a judgemental person who does not deserve your friendship and shows she has no empathy for other people. From what i can tell, you've done absolutely nothing wrong. You had a trauma, and you wanted your friends. You didn't tell them what was wrong cos you didn't wanna upset them most likely. They weren't replying so you panicked and texted more and more. That's perfectly understandable behaviour. Send the letter, or someone round to speak to her, but if she still will not budge, forget about her. I personally think you're better off without her. She's a really shîtty friend, she's basically just slipped away to avoid taking ownership of her own behaviour. And she seems to pick and choose when she wants to respond.

    Send the letter or get someone to speak to her, then give her space for a few weeks or so. Then ring her up. By then she will know everything. If she doesn't answer, send one text saying "this is important" if she still won't pick up even after saying that, she's not worth it but if she does pick up then tell her exactly how you feel. And don't hold back. Just do it. Ngl she's more to blame for this than you. She wasn't there for you when you needed her. And you know what? I think that's why she disappeared, to avoid taking responsibility. I mean if she had sent just one text, you'd have told her wouldn't you? She's such a **** friend, it seems like she's only right with you when you're doing things on her terms. Other people have feelings too she's such a ******* selfish *****!

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