Do you think this paragraph is good with perfect English?

Question

KFC on High Street in West Logan needs new employees! I ordered a meal #6. That’s 3 pieces of chicken, 2 sides, a biscuit and a medium drink. They didn’t give me my biscuit! I called them and the person who answered the phone wouldn’t tell me their name and said the meal #6 no longer includes a biscuit which is completely false! I told them to go to the KFC website and look up the contents of a meal #6. They started laughing, told me KFC hasn’t updated their website yet and hung up on me!

Answer 1

Favourite answer

imo the English is technically fine, but the structure is poor.  You should be cleaner, clearer, and more crisp. {New employees may or may not be the correct solution; and telling them what to do has no power.}

Answer 2

It's okay. I have shortened and rearranged it a bit. I've reduced the number of exclamation marks. 

KFC on High Street in West Logan needs new employees! 

I ordered a meal #6 (3 pieces of chicken, 2 sides, a biscuit and a medium drink). However, they didn’t give me my biscuit. 

I called them. The person who answered the phone wouldn’t tell me their name. They said the meal #6 no longer includes a biscuit  I told them to go to the KFC website and look up the contents of a meal #6. They started laughing and told me KFC hasn’t updated their website yet and hung up on me!