Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 2 months ago

Is this some kind of narcissistic abuse and how do I deal with it?

This is a weird story.  My aunt and I don't get along.  She is very wealthy and I am not..this results in her treating me as though I am beneath her.  Note that I have never asked for anything. I stopped contact after several condescending conversations and strange attempts to hurt my feelings.  I don't truly understand why she has these tendencies towards me as I rarely interact with her and haven't done anything but live my own life. 

Recently, my aunt came up with an idea to commission a painting for my grandparents.  She wanted the painting to be of my cousins, including me.  I honestly don't feel comfortable with the idea for many reasons.  I said no politely.  I was guilted and belittled.  I stood my ground and told her I didn't feel comfortable with the idea.  

Apparently, my extreme discomfort with having my picture taken or painted and my clear answer of no didn't matter at all.  She took a photo from my Facebook and had the thing done anyway!  

It's honestly a horrible painting.  We all look disproportioned and almost like cartoons but in an unflattering way.  It's bad.  Trust me.  I actually lmao for a while before the anger set in because it's such a bad painting it's hilarious.  

My grandparents don't know about it yet and I haven't said anything to my aunt yet.  My cousin showed me the picture or I would have no idea.  

What the hell do I do with this situation?  After years of crap like this, I'm pretty fed up.  Is it as disrespectful as I'm perceiving it 

Update:

The character limit won't let me give a full picture.  She doesn't like me because of her dislike for her sibling who is my parent.  It has nothing to do with me...we live in different states and the only communication is usually her visiting my grandparents or family gatherings.  She treats all of us this way but I am the only one to confront her when she exhibits controlling behavior and crosses boundaries.  She then relentlessly tries to gaslight until I block her avenues of communication. 

4 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    This just sounds like two incredibly difficult and prickly people butting heads. Your grandparents aren't looking at this picture like they're judging a beauty contest and I'm sure they're happy to have it regardless of your lack of participation. Your aunt sounds eccentric and pushy, like most aunts are if I'm being honest. But you seem to think she should view you and her equal and that wouldn't be the case even if she weren't wealthy. So I bet you show a touch more respect for your elders and back off just a smidge with the vanity over things like this family portrait you'll be fine. You're not going to change your older relatives. They are who they are. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Quite possibly so if you are begging the question zxjfkmvw

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  • T J
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    Why do you let her in your life at all? Cut her from your life, do not see or have any contact with her at all. If she will be at any family function, dont go. Get her out of your life, and stand your ground. Block her from all social media, block her phone number. Stand your ground.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I don't get it. So you don't get along with her because she thinks she's better than you because she's rich but made a painting of all of you guys... Maybe she did to show off to her wealthy friends about the family she has. I don't understand why it would make you mad, maybe you're the problem.

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