Should I be the one who is upset or is my boss the one who should be upset?

So...I have been waiting for weeks to get a call from the vascular surgeon regarding my CT Scan results and he finally calls me at 8:00am in the morning n Wednesday to tell me that I need two stents put in due to blockage.  He gives me two dates and I pick the one I think will be best for work.  He also assures me that if I have the surgery on Thursday I should be okay to return to work on Monday.  It's really pretty doubtful that I am going back that soon but not totally important.

I get to work shortly after my virtual appointment and inform my boss of the surgery and she loses it because we have a bid the following week and I will probably miss it (commercial construction).  She says that I should have discussed the dates with her before I scheduled the surgery so she could plan around it.  My response, of course, was anger to which I said that my health is more important than a bid on bid day especially considering we have more jobs on our plate than we have ever had in the eight years I've been with the company.

Honestly, I'm a little hurt by it but mostly pissed.  I really have worked hard and done a lot for this company and NEVER call in sick...ever.

Your thoughts?  Should my boss me upset or should I?  What would you do in my place?

Update:

Thank you all so much for your comments.  I have taken all of your comments to heart.  I'm sure we both could have handled it differently.

7 Answers

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  • 2 months ago
    Favourite answer

    Yeah, if I were you I'd be upset - so much that I'd be looking for a new job. You're taking a couple days off for major surgery and all they can think about is a bid deadline?

    There are really only 2 scenarios I can think of, and neither one is good.

    1. Your boss is selfish jerk who only cares about maximizing profit and doesn't care about you one bit - except to the extent that you can help them make money.

    2. Your company is so thinly staffed that you're the only person there who can prepare and submit a bid. This would indicate that the company is small and/or too cheap to hire more help. Its unavoidable when a company is small and new, but no company should be in a situation where one employee being absent leaves them unable to complete their projects on time.

    After you cool down a bit think through some solutions. Can you reschedule the surgery for after the bid submittal without jeopardizing your health? Is there someone else in the company who is capable of handling this bid? Is there a way you could work overtime and finish this bid before going in for surgery?

    Present a solution to your boss, then let your boss know that after 8 years at the company its very concerning that they are so upset about you needing a few days off for a major health issue. Discuss the idea that they should hire more people who can do bids or spend more effort training existing employees to cover for you so that the company isn't completely screwed. What if you had a heart attack and were suddenly in the hospital without notice? If your boss can't recognize that her reaction was wrong and admit that they need more people or better training so you can be absent once in a while, then its time to start thinking about your career beyond this company.

  • L
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    Since you had a choice, of two different dates............you should have discussed this with your boss.  However, if you do NOT tell her there was a choice - then she has no choice but to accept it and move on.

  • 2 months ago

    You might have informed your boss that you were waiting for a date for surgery, but that's where your obligation ends. If you had a medical EMERGENCY, (i.e. broken arm or leg, heart attack, etc.) do you think your boss would have a right to be pissed off that you didn't TELL her first?  No. 

    You can apologize for not giving her more notice, but honestly--your health IS more important and you should not feel bad for thinking so. You also can't schedule your health concerns around someone else's schedule and your employers. You can be hurt and pissed. Just don't retaliate or start bad-mouthing the boss--that won't get you anywhere. And keep your stress levels low before you have to have the operation. 

    Ignore her outburst. And you may indeed be back to work Monday. 

    Source(s): Worked in HR for 31 years.
  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You should have communicated with your boss before finalizing the date. BTW, I was up and around 24 hours after having 1 stent inserted a couple months ago.

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  • Judy
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You have reason to be upset, but try to just let it go.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Neither of you handled that well. She's treating it like an elective surgery, so it's possible you did not explain the necessity of it quite as well as you might have.  If you did, then she's being a jerk. Do as much work as you can on the bid before you have your surgery and the leave the project for her or someone else to continue to work on.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    Skip the stents and have a  heart attack. That will show her.  

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