Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 month ago

Are my feelings valid or am I being a snub?

Liz was a HS best friend for a little while back then. She catches up w me by text once in while but she is not a friend on my exclusive FB account. It is shared only w family who are all over the world and a few exclusive friends.  I'm not a regular FB user bc I do not see the purpose of having superficial connections w people who do not contribute to my intellectual enrichment and otherwise.  It's a waste of time.

I've another FB account I rarely ever go to where some HS classmates and other people are at. I just do not want them to think I am a snub for not being their friend, but we all live in different countries and I know for sure that we will never meet again in person.  Liz is now insisting that we group chat w another HS classmate who is in another Asian country, while Liz and I live in the West and East Coasts!

I will chat w them eventually but I feel like she is being presumptuous. I am a 62 YO introvert enjoying life w my husband while taking part in various hobbies and traveling.  I'll do it just so I could extend my regards to the other girl and catch up bc it is the humble and kind thing to do.  But otherwise, I am a bit irritated at Lisa for imposing what she wants without asking if it is kosher. I  guess she is friendlier than I am and bored w life whereas I am busy w life as it is and enjoy it.

Am I being a snub for not having the interest to connect w some people I have no interest in, or should I not let it bother me that I am this way? ...And Liz?


I wish I could get response fr people who would understand the situation first before saying anything to make themselves feel good and get points.  I connect w my family through FB!  I  trusted that I would not be judged and attract more rational answers or explanations. I went to the wrong place!

Update 2:

I will not say "I am too busy right now" bc Liz will ask again and she will not stop till she gets what she wants. There's has to be a better word than "denigrate". Goodness, why did I even come here!

3 Answers

  • 1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Use it as you wish best. It's either a gift from the universe you don't yet understand or it's not and it doesn't matter. Your script to write! 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Just tell them you're too busy right now to do this group chat. You don't have to justify or rationalize it nor do you need to denigrate others for their emotional desires. 

  • a
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    Not a snob for not having the interest. Maybe you are for not taking 20 or 30 minutes out of your life to have an internet conversation with a buddy who wants to connect with you.

    It's interesting that you have such a strong feeling about not wasting time on Fakebook, and ---having two accounts! The people I know who don't want to engage in superficial connections have zero Facebook accounts.

    ETA: You can have a facebook account to connect with family, and not have a second one.

     "I'm not a regular FB user bc I do not see the purpose of having superficial connections w people who do not contribute to my intellectual enrichment and otherwise. It's a waste of time." 

    How do you think this sounds, really? And why have a public account at all, if you think the people who wish to connect with you are a waste of your time? Yes, you're a snob. You have a second account, I guess, to throw a bone to the throngs who want to keep up with you, but connecting with them is a 'waste of your time.'

    Bottom line, you're not required to have that account. Close it.

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