could i have an eating disorder?

Question

Im a teenager and i restrict my caloric intake by hundreds of calories as i feel i need to lose weight.

i get thoughts that make me feel unworthy if i do not lose weight to the point i can see bones under my skin, and i feel stress and guilt when i eat a regular amount.

i get these feelings every month or so and each time my actions and thoughts last longer and are worse. i know these are disordered thoughts but i have never spoken to anyone about it for fear of being forced to eat.

i already have very low self esteem, extreme anxiety and a self harm addiction. i am in doctor referred therapy for these issues but nobody knows about my trouble with food. 

if anyone has any advice please help... i feel trapped and i don’t know what to do or who to go to. 

Answer 1

You can't handle this on your own.  Tell your parents about this.  They will know what to do next.

Answer 2

I'd be more concerned about your cheating on YA.

Don't you think?

Answer 3

You basically won't be forced to eat unless you are about to die.  Force-feeding is the absolute last resort of treatment for EDs because it only fixes the symptoms and doesn't do a damn thing about the disorder.

Assuming your therapist isn't a complete moron I strongly suggest that they already at least suspect you are restricting food based on what sounds like your extreme slenderness and the fact that you've already got a very common constellation of symptoms which OFTEN includes some sort of -rexia.  So share it with them.  They can help you learn how to deal with it healthily.