Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Should I overlook the lies?!?

I have been married for almost seven years. My husband is a great man, but over the years I have caught him in many lies. I.e. A few years ago he got involved in a scam, and had over $2,000 taken from our account, and literally let me go crazy trying to figure out what happened for about a week before confessing. Another time he told me he got let go from his job. ( I was a stay at home mom at the time, & was forced to find a job ASAP.) He waited 6 months before confessing that he quit because he hated the job. A few months ago he purchased onlyfans (before it got big, I didn’t know what it was) I called the bank and disputed it because he swore he didn’t know what it was. I finally convinced him to be honest about 2 weeks ago! AND NOW, he got laid off 4 days ago and has been lying about it since. Telling me he had a few days off because his truck is being inspected, he was supposed to go back to work tomorrow, and now he says his contracted ended and he just found out but he’s know all along! He doesn’t cheat, he’s great w the kids, he cooks, he cleans, but it’s honestly so hard to lay next to a man every night who lies to me? Wwyd? Am I overreacting. That’s just a few examples.

6 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    Dam that sucks girl. Not sure what to tell you, but yeah I wouldn't like that either. 

  • if it's okay for the man to support a stay at home wife that doesn't work then it's only fair that you work and he be a stay at home husband. equal rights. 

  • Orla C
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I don't think you're overreacting. Someone like this causes all kinds of stress that you don't need. He can't be trusted.

    Now, you could try the marriage counselling route and see if anything makes sense to him and give him a set amount of time to sort his behaviour out, but I would start looking at ending the marriage if he cannot be trusted to be honest with you and your kids. 

  • 1 month ago

    Yeah, I'd find that extremely difficult as well. Clearly the only person you can count on is yourself. Good luck with that.  Intended and extended gaslighting would have me packing bags. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Perhaps he needs some professional help with what seems to be an inablilty to face reality. You need to arrange this together, perhaps, and even go with him. Tell him that you will not share a bed with someone you cannot trust, and move into another room - at least until after his first therapy session.

    Good Luck!  

  • 1 month ago

    No, you should not overlook the lies at all.  They are causing major problems in your life.  He may be a pathological liar in need of a team of professionals, working LONG TERM to help him develop integrity.   Why on earth would you even consider ignoring lies   No wonder he's the one you ended up with

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