Anonymous

Should I allow my ex wife to FaceTime our children if she’s intoxicated ?

So me and my wife separated about a year ago when she was pregnant with our third child because according to her she wanted to “live her life”. She pretty much up and left our marriage and our two children we already had and now our third child. 

  After she gave birth to our third daughter I received full custody of all three of our children for reasons I’m not going to discuss. 

 It has taken a major toll on both of my older daughters (4 and 6 yrs old), to the point that they are acting up and throwing severe tantrums daily. 

  I simply feel guilty about the entire situation, and the story gets a lot deeper, however Their mother has turned into a severe alcoholic. I want my children to be able to see her obviously because they are suffering so deeply, but I also just can not let them around her if she’s intoxicated. (Which she has proven to be 90% of the time) that she tries to contact them. 

  In order to calm my oldest daughters tantrums I try and get their mother on FaceTime for her, but lately she has been noticeably intoxicated while on FaceTime, to the point my daughter asked why “mommy was acting weird”. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I feel guilty and I also feel like it’s wrong to keep them from their mother because it’s the only thing that seems to calm them. What would you do? 

5 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    A Fake reason you can give for your ex-wife's drunken act is that she is sick, suffering from an Illness to your Daughters. Come up with some out of box idea to convince your ex to go through Rehab therapy. I know it won't be easy and she may even refuse to go through it. But you can try it for your Daughters's sake. B'cos them not seeing their mom affects them emotionally & them seeing their Mom drunk is not a good influence.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If you have the option to do that you could do it. Depends on the language in your custody agreement. But if you are compelled to provide a certain number of minutes of digital contact you may want to go back to court to have that amended. 

  • Alex
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    I agree with Embery, that it may be good for them to see with their own eyes why they don't' get to see their mother.  At least the older one.  While both are very young, 6 year olds are incredibly perceptive.  When she sees that 'mommy is acting weird', that is the time to explain to her that her mother has a problem she can't deal with and that is why the mother can't come around.  

    This wording is important.  It reenforces that it is their mother's 'fault' that the kids are separated from her, instead of yours or theirs.  Once she understands this, you'll actually have her help getting through to the younger one.

    This is a rough situation, but your children's safety comes first.  And a raging alcoholic (even a non-violent one) is unsafe for young children.  You are simply making the best of a bad situation.  

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    So she's pregnant and getting drunk? She's a whack job

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  • Embery
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    That's the best time, better they see what she is really like.

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