Should I tell him I lost trust?
I met my BF in June. Previously I was single for 4 years because I don't settle and was way too busy. He's 32 and I'm 28. Things were great for summer and he was so good to me. In Sept he unexpectedly told me he needed time to think because he realized he wasn't over traumatic experiences from his last relationship which was preventing him from connecting emotionally with me. I tried to remain positive and offered to stay by his side, but in reality it really hurt me. I lost 15 lbs from completely losing my appetite, even though this only lasted 9 days. I respected his decision, and he kept contacting me. He had me on the phone for 3 hours one night, and kept apologizing for being so confusing. He drove out to see me when I was camping so we could talk face to face and he realized us being apart didn't help. Things have been good for the last 3 weeks, but my mind is starting to fill with doubts. I lost trust due to the fact things were so good and I felt like he ruined things by basically breaking it off. I brought this up briefly last weekend and told him I never know what he is thinking, and he didn't exactly offer any reassurance. Normally I drop people instantly, but I saw so much more in him I couldn't. But now I'm not as happy as I was even though he puts in a daily effort to call me/see me. I no longer see him as the man I want, but I know I wouldn't be happy without him either. I need tips on how to talk to him about this without sounding like I'm attacking him.
- FoofaLv 71 month ago
He clearly doesn't trust you either so it wouldn't come as some big bombshell to him. If he's actually working on his stuff, meaning he's in counseling he's making strides forward and not just wallowing in it it might be worth your keeping him on the back burner but not breaking things off entirely. On the other hand if he's putting this excuse between you without lifting a finger to get over this trauma then it would probably be the smart thing to just cut him off completely.
- ?Lv 71 month ago
Why are you bothering with some guy who has been using you as The Rebound Girl for however long? And why would you let him come to have some stupid talk with you while you're camping? Don't you have any sense of self-respect? Doesn't seem like it.
Don't talk to him. Dump him. He's anotherAssole in a sea ofAssholes.
- Anonymous1 month ago
From what you wrote, it sounds as though he is currently in a struggle with lots of different issues.
Simply be honest and try to be caring, but also be there for him and try to find ways to cheer him up.
You need to have communication because communication is necessary in many situations.
- HelenLv 71 month ago
Yes, you need to. Burying your head in the sand will not save the relationship. If anything will - it's honesty and open communication.