Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

I am 20 and my parents wont let me move out! PLEASE READ! ?

I will try to make this short. So i have a job lined up and now i am able to pay for rent to have my own place. I will make enough to support myself for food, gas, and anything else. I told my parents i was moving out and now they aren't letting me keep my car. I have the opportunity to sign the lease on Wednesday, but how am i supposed to get to work with no car!!! I am furious! They are only keeping it so that i "choose" to stay home. I don't want to wait. I know i'll need my parents if i need to get a new car, but i also know that they will not help me. They told me to take the bus around campus, but the job is about 30 minutes away and the bus route doesn't go there. Please give me some advice. I called the DVM and it is true that the car is in their name. I will make enough to support myself, but not enough to get a car!!! 

Update:

They don't want me to leave because they think i'm going to party every night. I've never even been to a party honestly. They said i just want to leave so i can do what I want and they dont want me to be in control of my own life. 

25 Answers

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  • Jane
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Sounds controlling of course.

    1. it is best not to sign a lease or any other major financial obligation until you have started the job and have received your first pay. Even better, wait until you have 2-3 months of pay and know this job is going to be stable over the next 6 months 2. once you have evidence of your income, you will be able to secure a place to live and car finance in your own name.

    So if you can cope with waiting a few months, you will be able to step forward with more security and independence. You may find that your parents will let you keep the car if you outline your plan- then you can, in private, stick with your ambitions, just over a slightly longer time span. Don't let this relationship problem with your parents sabotage your success- you WILL get there if you stay calm and focused.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I moved 6,000 miles away from my parents and they still try to run my life and I am 58yo :)

    That's OK, because we love each other.

    But I am an adult and I make my own decisions. Part of being an adult is explaining to your parents that you are making your own decisions now and doing it in a tactful and decent manner. They don't have to like it, they just have to accept it.

  • 2 months ago

    just move out they cant stop 

    stop being a man baby AND SECURE THAT BEEF

  • 2 months ago

    you need to leave if they are that mean as   to blackmail you over  the car.....

    you need to get a home closer to your job.problem solved then ..BUT if not 

     like another said,get a bike,....but ride in a safe area  ( try keep off roads } 

    will be cheaper than a car  and ya can get wet weather gear .

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  • para
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    buy your own car, stupid. "I will make enough to support myself " is a false statement if you can't live without a car and can't afford to buy one either. they are doing the right thing not letting you keep theirs

  • Orla C
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Get yourself an electric bike, and don't forget a helmet. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    tell then you are over 18 and will move out. If the car is in your name, they have no legal right over it

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    you described life for most people

    buying a car for your self is a test of your ability 

    live at home for a year take the rent payments you plan on paying save it and buy a junker driver car 

    you whining about them not giving you a car to keep verse gave you one to drive is proof you are not ready  ----  

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    "my parents wont let me move out!"     That's a lie.   Your parents have simply told you that their car lives with them at their home.   It's perfectly reasonable.

    "they dont want me to be in control of my own life"   Of course they do.   If you are adult enough to move out, you are adult enough to figure out your own transportation.   You're in charge.  Adult freedom comes with adult responsibility.

    There's nothing stopping you from moving out.   Every adult has to figure out how to buy their own car or live without one.  There is nothing unique about your situation.

    Motorcycles/mopeds are much, much cheaper to buy, insure, maintain and operate.   Of course if you get in an accident, you could end up with your brains all over the pavement.

    Lots of people buy a bicycle and use public transportation with their bike.   It's not a big deal to ride a couple/few miles from the bus stop to work.

    If your job really is in the middle of nowhere, you can find a different job.

    You've got lots of choices here.   If adulting is really that hard, perhaps you SHOULD stay home with mummy and daddy until you can afford the car you think you need.  

    Be glad you have parents who are willing to subsidize your life.   Not everyone is lucky enough to be able to have a free place to live and a car to borrow while they are in college.   Perhaps a thank you is in order.  

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I can't really suggest anything without knowing why they are doing that. I gave my kids vehicles and was helping them put their stuff in it so they could be on their own. I had trust in my kids though because I knew I raised them right. You need to find out why your parents don't trust you. Talking with them in a mature manner is your only hope.

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