Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 1 month ago

Boyfriend said hes run into some ‘challenges’ with getting a ring due to Covid. Excuse or no?

My boyfriend had been saying he’s going to propose for months. He says it to me and talks about it while we’re out with our friends. We talk about our future all the time and I have no reason to think he doesn’t want to actually marry me, but I’m starting to feel a little discouraged? Back in June we looked at ring styles online together and I showed him a few of my favorites and told him what I loved about each of them. 4th of july weekend he said I was his soon to be fiancée to one of our friends while we were out. When we saw that same friend this past weekend he said “you two still aren’t engaged?” And it kind of struck a nerve with me because I’m just waiting for it to happen. It would be different if he hasn’t been talking about it for months. My boyfriend told me it’s been “challenging” - he didn’t say what specifically was challenging when I said what do you mean - but just that it’s a challenging time to get engaged. Meanwhile, 6 couples I know have gotten engaged since Covid started and that’s just within my own small friend group! So I feel like that’s not really an excuse? Covid hasn’t stopped men who are serious about proposing with a ring from actually proposing with a ring. I know the ring isn’t necessary but it’s a tradition we’d both like to follow... as most people do now. So bottom line, does it sound like he’s just making excuses or am I just getting impatient? We’re 29 & 30 and have been together for 2 years. Both financially independent and stable.

Update:

I should clarify the question I'm really asking is if people are legitimately facing challenges due to covid buying a ring or if this just sounds like an excuse. Is buying a ring any harder now than it was before covid or no difference? We live in NJ (USA)

19 Answers

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  • 3 weeks ago

    Covid is a LAME excuse not to get engaged....unless his income has been effected.

    Unless he planned to use an empty toilet paper roll for an engagement ring back in April, Covid is no excuse. Sorry. If money is the reason, that is understandable...rings are not inexpensive.

    Stop comparing your 12 friends (six couples) who are engaged  to your situation because your boyfriends actions are irrelevant to theirs. 

  • Trish
    Lv 5
    4 weeks ago

    I think it's a copout.  Ask him his true intentions since he shows a different face in front of friends.

  • 1 month ago

    Like a lot of people lately, you're focusing on the wrong things.  That's why you've ended up asking total strangers what your bf thinks.  The ring isn't the issue here.

    The only way to get the answers you need is have one of "those" convos.  Don't even mention the ring or proposal.  For example, he said it's "challenging" to get engaged now, yet you didn't press him as to what he meant.  Why didn't you?  Hell, people can be engaged without a ring, so this is something that should have been 2nd nature if your communication was where it should be.

    This is a convo that's very overdue, which means it's scary.  But get past what he's said to friends, or anything related to an engagement.  You need to know exactly where you stand with him.

  • 1 month ago

    Girl, i am going to be straight up with you. I'm 34 and I just got engaged 4 months ago to the man I love after being together for 7 years. Do not push him toward marriage, it will only push him further away from you. enjoy the life you have together and when the time is right you WILL be engaged. 

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  • 1 month ago

    I would say he's using COVID as a lame excuse.

  • 1 month ago

    I believe 2 years is too soon. Trust me. When he said challenging times, I don't think he means that Jewelry stopes are closed or that he doesn't have money.  He probably wants to make it special in a special place and the pandemic has affected his plans. It could be that he wants to have a big celebration but because of all the restrictions, he is waiting until things get better. Think about it. Do you want him to just propose or wouldn't you like something special? 

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Dragging someone to the altar who isn't ready to get married just ends in divorce. But you could always take the initiative to propose to him and buy the ring yourself, it's 2020 after all. Sounds very much like you're succumbing to peer pressure and that you want the ring and the title "fiancee" more than you actually want to work hard to build a life with this man. Maybe relax a bit. If the relationship is a good one it'll still be there when and if life returns to normal. 

  • 1 month ago

    My general rule of them that always holds true is, if u have to ask, you already know the answer. Meaning, you know he is making excuses. You are just in love and do not know how to reconcile your babe is stalling, lying(what making up excuses is), yet you are not ready to leave him as you feel you have paid ur dues and earned that ring and he needs to keep his word. Always remember, men go after what they want. They make time for what they want. They do not need to be reminded what the want exists. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    -sigh-

    i think you'll be okay. calm down. what is your rush anyways? 

    wow only together for 2 years? it seems a bit soon, in my opinion..... stop being pushy. 

    "it’s a challenging time to get engaged" gee maybe because people are dying, there's a pandemic. who cares what other people are doing with their relationships.....

  • 1 month ago

    Talk to him as adults and discuss where you both see your future together. Including timescales. 

    And hey - let him know you don't actually need a ring to propose. 

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