Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 month ago

Was it wrong of me to word this text like i did? ?

2 week ago i texted a friend "how are you? Just kinda wanted to talk to you about something?" She read my text but never replied. I'm a very sensitive person (and she is too i think! It upsets her when things happen to other people) and I felt sad but followed up asking if she wants to meet. Read again still no reply. I felt like she was rejecting me or something and was absolutely gutted. So last week i apologised in case i upset her at all lately. Again she read but I've still not heard from her. When things happen to her she stops talking to people til she feels better

I've discussed this with my mum and she said the way i worded my text was likely the problem. She says it sounds very serious saying what i said but if nothing was wrong I shouldn't have worded it like that. I told her i was trying to be ambiguous but she said you have to really think about how it could be interpreted to someone else and that she probably assumed the worst and that's why she hasn't been answering me

Does what i said really sound that serious? I didn't think so at the time!

12 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    The reaction to your sort of text varies from person to person. There is never 'one size fits all' in human communications.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i dont think you did anything wrong

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    News flash...she's probably busy and doesn't have time to check in.  Why didn't you tell her what you wanted to talk about instead of being so secret?  Listen to your mom on this.

  • 1 month ago

    This is going to depend on the connection/friendship between you and ultimately, your different communication styles.  Your friend not understanding your intention does not negate your communication style.  Remember, you are not responsible for someone else's interpretation of your words.

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • God
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If she was a friend and she thought you had something serious to discuss that's even more reason to email back.  Doesn't sound like she's much of a friend.

  • 1 month ago

    You have been overthinking this, and all for nothing! She's not upset with you. She would be upset if she knew what was wrong, and THAT'S why she isn't answering you, because she thinks something really is wrong and she doesn't want to know what's going on. If she knows it will just create more unnecessary upset for you both then of course she won't answer. She continues to read your texts when you text because she cares about you and is acknowledging you. But her silence is saying "stop texting until you feel better" this is because if you continue to text her, she probably thinks your texts will become more and more erratic, which will upset her even more! You have read into this far too much! You knew how you meant it when you sent the text, but she didn't. Your mother is spot on about what she said! It is really vital to interpret your wording in the correct way, and in a way that makes sense to the reader.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Honestly you might have frightened her by saying it! She obviously thought it was negative. Usually when someone says the word "talk" at all it normally sounds like they are going to say something very serious! She possibly thought at first, 'oh no this is worrying!' but stuck around to see what you were about to say. Then she saw you wanted to meet, and likely assumed you were going to pour your heart out or something. You've both misread each other's signals!

  • 1 month ago

    She thought you got angry with her and wanted to talk

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    It appears you have both misunderstood each other's intentions, you seem to believe she has gone off you, while she seems to believe you're not ok right now. What your mum told you is a very good lesson to learn, because wording really does matter when communicating. When things aren't worded correctly, sometimes they don't make sense, and sometimes they are misinterpreted, as is the case here. If you've worded it like you are unsure whether you want to talk to her about it, chances are you don't, either because you know it will upset her, or because you just don't want to talk about it yourself, or both! This is all a misunderstanding, but you're the one at fault for wording that text the way you did. Your followup was unnecessary, as all it served to do was make her think you wanted to talk face to face most likely.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Honestly yes, if someone sent me that I would be expecting them to be delivering very bad news! There are so many things wrong with what you said to her.

    First of all, you used "kinda" like you were unsure you wanted to tell her or not. You didn't spring it on her, it was like you were tossing up whether you wanted her to know cos it's so serious! Also you offered a question mark, which was giving her the option to answer and I don't know how old you are but please try to remember in future whenever you say you want to talk to someone about something, it sounds like you're gonna open up. You know she can't do this. That's probably why she didn't answer your followup about meeting, cos she thought you wanted to talk about it face to face, but she won't answer cos she doesn't want to know what is going on. Sensitive people feel other people's upset, and feel upset themselves. That and the fact she doesn't cope with her own bad things very well at all and it's hardly a surprise she hasn't been replying. Your mother is right, you made a big mistake wording your text in that way. I imagine your friend presumes you're going through something and won't answer cos she wants to give you space. Try her again in a few weeks or so when some more time has passed.

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.