How can I make my daughter listen to me?

I asked my daughter in a firm tone to please wash the dishes. She say's I don't know how to ask properly. Apparently I'm yelling at her when I ask. I don't know what to do anymore. She's a 13yr old girl who thinks she entitled. I took her phone and internet away. Nothing works! I'm loosing my patience. She refuses to wash the dishes that have been sitting in the sink for the past two days!! I'm tired of washing the dishes for her and most dirty dishes are hers anyway. Then she has the nerve to tell me she will do them once she's done taking a nap! I can't no more! Someone help! I work from home and am busy with work. I understand she has school but school ends at 3 while my work ends at 5. The least she can do is help and wash the dishes, so when i'm done with work I can start cooking in a clean kitchen.

Any parents ??? Advice???

60 Answers

Relevance
  • SW-6
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    I have to admit, the thought of a good firm crack in the mouth ran across my mind, but no.  I would suggest the following.  IF you don't give allowance already, start by offering x amount for weekly washing dishes, cleaning bathroom, etc.  IF that doesn't work, give her some of the same she gives you.  "Oh, you want those sneakers that just came out?  Sorry, you get what you give.  Oh, need a few bucks to go to the movies with friends?  Sorry, you get what you give."  Then remind her how she wants something and how you want something:  "Lets deal".  A person is going to treat you the way you let them.  This is a child, your child, who is setting the rules and you are letting her get away with it.  Oh HAIL no.  The way I see it, and this is just me, I like that good crack in the mouth scenario, but if we don't want to go there, you make a point of telling her that if she wants to be a selfish spoiled brat, she is on her own and to not ask you for anything to help her until she learns to help others too OR if you dont already, give her incentive by offering the allowance for doing chores.  Good luck to you :)

  • 2 months ago

    Question do you have a pocket money system or do you just give her money whenever she wants it. I'd say maybe implement one and if she continues to not do it no wifi, no phone no games no friends round or allowed out no TV etc completely nothing till she treats you with respect

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    give her money like a real job would. Without incentives, no one will do anything

  • KTJoe
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I can tell you and daughter been friends for a very long time, as Mother rules. Anyway do nothing for daughter no cooking, no money, washing clothes, no conversation. 

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • 2 months ago

    I think it will not hurt if you give her a little spanking.

  • 2 months ago

    I think it's funny how american families will slap and beat a son for not doing something simple but when it's the daughter you treat her like she's the lesser sex. slap her the way you would a son if he talked back to you. 

  • 2 months ago

    Order her to wash the dishes. If she doesn't, or if she gives you lip about it, set some consequences. Don't just fret about her lack of respect--consequences are what you need. She doesn't do chores, she doesn't get to watch TV or play games or text her friends. Take her phone away. Take her games away. SET SOME CONSEQUENCES, mom. That's what parents DO. 

  • 2 months ago

    Let her nap and when she goes to sleep dump ice cold water on her and tell her “nap over” now that you are up get the **** up and do the dishes.

  • 2 months ago

    You quit posting and put your foot down-hard. You are the parent start acting like it. Who raised your daughter with a sense of entitlement? Obviously you have let her get away with this type of behavior for many years, so it will be hard to reign her in. Sit her down and tell her from now on you will wash dishes and you will treat me with respect. If you have to take her by the hand and lead her to the sink and stand there to make her wash the dishes, then do so. With the nap nonsense that is when you say no, you will wash the dishes now. No questions asked. If need be you go in her room get her up and lead her into the kitchen. You work hard and cook and pay the bills etc. (I assume you are single) she needs to respect you. She will not unless you demand respect. If she ever becomes physical either deck her or if you can't then call the cops and let them haul her off. You are the adult take control of the situation and do not tolerate any back talk or disrespect. If you let her rule the roost she will. Look I raised three children on my own since the youngest was a few months old. I was never mean to my children, but I did not put up with any nonsense either Permissive parenting obviously has not worked time to be a tough mom. Use your imagination. You took away her phone and internet, what else can you do? You do not have to cook for her or what ever else you do for her. Some people will lock up the dishes and leave the unruly child one set for their own use, if they don't get washed oh well. Be creative and don't back down! Now  get going and exercise your parental authority.

  • art
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    have you thought about grounding her while also removing ALL electronics and wifi from her room until her attitude improves, warn her that she could lose her bedroom door too

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.