Is my fiancee being unreasonable in not wanting my family watch us be pronounced married?

So we're getting officially married on Halloween. None of her family will be here but it's important for my very small immediate family to see me wed. She doesn't want any of them here except my mom and brother as witnesses as she feels invaded upon. I've tried explaining this to them yet they get upset by it. I try telling her they want to see me be married but it upsets her. I've gotten to know quite a bit of her family since we've been together, she's only gotten to know my mom. I don't understand why it's an issue for either my family or her. My family should let us do it our way but she should be able to compromise and let my family watch us pronounced as marrried.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    she might be and maybe you shouldnt marry her then

  • 3 months ago

    This is your 1,741st answer, so you must rely heavily upon our advice. Here's mine: do not get married until and if you and your gal can agree upon this question of who is to attend. Its not about what you want or she wants, only. But the fact that you disagree is a huge red flag, and you haven't even begun yet. Weddings are family affairs. Unless you opt for elopement , its a big insult to exclude your immediate relatives. If she can't tolerate their presence, what does that signal about present and future family relationships? You are stepping into a mine hole, sir.  I do think she's being "unreasonable". And it bodes badly for the future.

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    What do you mean by "officially"?  We all get only one wedding, and if this is your legal one, then that's that.  Don't plan some fake wedding after the fact.

    Anyway, can I ask how old you are?  Part of the reason I ask is this is very, very scary for a couple who apparently think they're ready to commit their lives and future to each other.   When you say your parents should let the 2 of you do as you wish, in one sense that's true.  But it's rarely put to the test like this, because most mature adults understand that watching a child get married is something parents & close family look forward to from the moment that child is born.  It's pretty selfish of her to not recognize this. To me, this is a very big red flag.  It's not like you're turning an intimate wedding into a crowd of 200. 

    Also, how did it end up that you're less than 3 weeks from the big day and there's this huge conflict?  Usually, when a couple talks about their wedding, the 1st thing they cover is large vs small and who they want there.  Again, I'm curious about your ages and/or how long you've been dating.

    I'm not sure what to tell you.  Obviously I only know what you shared here, but it sounds to me like this wedding should be postponed.  The 2 of you need to learn to communicate much better and find common ground on everything.  This is a very minor issue compared to the major ones that will hit you as a married couple.

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    Officially married as opposed to unofficially married?  I don't know what that means.

    I see NO chance that this marriage will survive. Have you looked beyond the wedding day?

    If YOUR family is the issue, YOU handle it.  If you can't reconcile your fiance and your mother, DON'T GET MARRIED.

    My FIRST husband's family disagreed with every decision "we" ever made.  They always accused me of making plans with which they didn't agree.  I did not run the show.  We are now divorced.  When his family began to make demands concerning our wedding I should have turned and walked away.

    I'm amazed that her family is in favor of this marriage - and that's based on all of your questions about wrestling and your hatred of blacks:  “Why won't blacks stop protesting and just go back to picking my cotton?” https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20201...

    I know you're ignorant.  Her family is also ignorant?

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    You're being "unreasonable" and overly optimistic about this marriage working out. This person you're marrying has VERY different ideas of family than you do. Go through with this wedding and you'll be divorced within a year. 

  • ?
    Lv 6
    3 months ago

    Run, Forrest, run!

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