Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 4 weeks ago

I cant find friends or people to talk to. I'm so awkward, shy and very boring.?

I'm 24. I moved out from my parents place because they are extremely toxic and controlling. I moved in with 2 other people. I wanted my own place but I had no choice but to move in with 2 people in one small house. Rent is easier to pay this way. Anyway, I have nobody. I'm always by myself. As a kid, my parents always controlled who I hung out with. They made fun of the people I hung out with causing me to stop being friends with them. I was a loner throughout elementary and middle school. In high school, I got into drugs and only had friends with other druggies. I stopped hanging out with them after I quit drugs. I moved out of my parents home at 22. Since then, I have nobody. I've never talked to my parents since moving out and I dont even talk to my roommates. Mainly because we all dont want to talk to each other. I have no friends at all whatsoever. My roommates both have friends. When I meet new people, I'm shy and very awkward and quiet. People get tired of me and they eventually stop talking to me. I dont know what to do anymore. I've spent the past 2 years completely alone. All I do now is get on the internet and interact with people on there. I have no friends outside of the internet. What should I do? How do I make friends?

Update:

I'm not the prettiest but I'm not the ugliest. I want a bf and I want to start my life but I dont know how 

3 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago
    Favourite answer

    If you want to have a friend you have to be a friend. Things don't happen - you have to make an effort.

    Join a club or class of some sort - one that might interest you and where there will probably plenty of other people. Language class? Drama group? Book club? To be liked, generally, it helps to be more interestED than interestING. Listening is good for making friends: ask people questions about themselves and their opinions and listen to them without interruption, except for little comments that demonstrate that you're REALLY listening. It shows you are taking them seriously, as in respect and acceptance. Don't sit there thinking about what you will say, because that shows more interest in yourself than them. Little pauses demonstrate that you are thinking about what they have said anyway. You can ask them how they felt about what they have just told you, or other specific questions to show you have been listening and taking them seriously. Be open minded and try not to disagree with people. For example, if they like a band you hate, ask what it is they like about them, best track, etc. (avoid the word, “why” as it can sound challenging). You can always say you don't listen to them much but you will now or something. Asking for advice is also good. Genuinely, of course, & don't overdo it. Ditto information – we feel pleased to tell someone something interesting they did not know, such as what’s on in town, latest sports score, etc., so by showing interest in their opinion, knowledge, etc. you’ll get some good feelings from them. Smiling is a good sign of acceptance. A lot of eye contact can also be good. Remember, if you want to have a friend, you have to BE a friend, and the best way to impress someone is to be impressed by them! One thing you can do is always to ensure you have a straight back: sit, stand and walk tall (hips forward) and take reasonably long, confident strides when you walk: this has the “reverse psychology” effect of helping us to feel more confident. Once we have self respect and a sense of self worth, we tend to find that other people respect us more too. Good Luck!

  • 4 weeks ago

    If you believe you are awkward, shy, and boring, other people will too. If you fear this is what they will think, they will. It's the self fulfilling prophecy of what I fear, I create. So, you carry yourself as awkward, shy, and boring with ur inconsistent eye contact, head down, fearful conversation that does not explore new topics or keep the conversation going by asking follow-up questions to their statements. When the person then turns away from you, you will rest comfortably in the fact you already knew they would think you were awkward, shy, and boring. Reshape your thinking. Write out ur positive attributes that make u likeable. Mimick after observing. Go someplace and find someone similar to your ideal personality and watch how they speak to people, mannerisms, listen to topics and how they discuss and later at home, mimick. Practice your conversational skills by playing a Youtube video or movie and play a statement and he them pause it and practice outloud what u would say back should someone say what they said to u. This is like the acting talent of improv. U basically are working on quick thinking and verbalizing. This will help you with conversation. Also, whats ur appearance look like? If you look like u dont care about your ownself, its likely u will not get the respect and attention u desire. Flip through magazines and see whats on trend. Update ur hair to something in the mag...try out some new style of clothes you've never tried before just make it similar to the magazine looks. This doesnt have to be a nightmare to get u on track with the life u want. Make it fun! 

  • laura
    Lv 5
    4 weeks ago

    You’re not alone, I’m also very shy and introverted, I’ve been alone a lot in life and don’t make friends easy. What has helped is my jobs, I have to talk and interact so have finally found confidence to talk to others and even if we aren’t in touch out of work I look forward to seeing them in work. It’s easier because they’re in the same job role as me and they are also a bit shy, work really can open up friendships, or maybe college? Is there a hobby you have eg cooking, art etc where you could do a course and meet others? Do you have other family members like siblings or cousins who you could see sometimes? I really do feel for you it sucks feeling lonely 😔 

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