Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 3 weeks ago

What do I do - Divorce not final?

I feel sick beyond sick right now. My wedding is this weekend and his divorce is not final. His lawyer told us to go ahead and plan the wedding and there should be no issues, so like a fool, I did. I am bound by contract and responsible for 100 percent of the costs at this point. The family and guests are aware of the situation and have all told us just to celebrate the day. His lawyer has told me to go ahead and have a day of celebration. The Judge has already made her ruling and its just the final signature we are waiting on. The lawyer felt confident we would have the final papers since the judge demanded the draft order of her ruling 2 times then gave both lawyers a deadline. I just want to cry right now. In my state you cannot get divorced without settling on custody and she would not and tried everything in her power to keep the case going ( it lasted 3 years) and ended in a 2 day long trial where she lost. Marital assets where all settled and divided in the first order in 2017. The lawyer even offered to have his notary marry us legally next week and they are both telling us just to move forward. Am I wrong for doing this. I feel beyond defeated. 


Edit: The final draft order is submitted - just incase I was not clear filled with all the judges rulings. We are just waiting for the judge to sign off... 1 signature. Otherwise it is all done and ruled on. The waiting game has been beyond stressful. 

6 Answers

  • T J
    Lv 5
    3 weeks ago

    Id not marry anyone, unless the divorce was final and signed by both.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    If you'll lose a ton of money by postponing the event I'd just called it a "commitment ceremony" and have the reception as planned. Then you can later marry in a courthouse ceremony once he's free to marry you. It's always dicey to get seriously involved with someone who isn't free and clear of a past marriage. 

  • J
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    Wedding is just a ceremony, the license is the real thing.

    Have the party and do the paper later, no one will know.

  • blank
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    Personally I would put this on your attorney:  get your lawyer to hussle 5 mins out of the judge today or tomorrow to get the signature needed.  After all, it was that person's advice you followed right into this situation.

    That said, if it does not work out so that this weekend is legally valid, then please don't let it ruin your day.   You cannot walk away from all the cash you have spent - and all the time invested making arrangements.  Go through with the weekend and enjoy.

    Then, once that final signature is in place - just go the the court house with two witnesses and make it legal (aka official).   Shoot - if you think about it - have the same judge that signs the divorce docs marry you moments after signing them.  What a cute story for you and your family down the line.

    Oh - and btw - congratulations!   May you have may years of love and devotion to each other.

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  • 3 weeks ago

    I would go ahead with the wedding (if you can't do the actual ceremony, so what), even though you won't really be married yet, and act like you are now married and have fun and don't worry about this at all. It sounds to me like his ex-wife dragged this all out and continues to drag it all out for no reason than to be a jerk. She may pretend that she needs something else, but she really dragged it out to be a jerk.

    So, don't let her have that satisfaction at all.  

    You go out there and laugh and say I do and have a great time, and furthermore know that you will be truly married in a week anyhow - and what difference does a week even matter in the grand scheme of things. 

    To hell with his b***chy ex-wife, this won't bother you if you don't let it.

  • Brian
    Lv 5
    3 weeks ago

    Knowing which country and state would be helpful. In Texas for example you can go to the courthouse and register to get married. They then give you a piece of paper that states you can not get married for at least 3 days but will have to get married within 30 days. The paper they give you is then filled out by whoever is legally marrying you (Priest, Sheriff, person off the internet) and has to be then submitted in that timeframe. Since his divorce is not final then you can not even start the first part until he is. However even if it was final the paperwork might not have been submitted until weeks after your wedding. A wedding itself is not legally binding in any way. If you wanted to you could have a wedding every year. It is supposed to be a celebration. As such you can have it at any time and then view yourself as married under god but not under the law. Once his divorce is final you can then do all the paperwork and have a courthouse wedding.  

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