Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 4 weeks ago

My mom’s going through serious depression right now?

I feel hopeless about it. I don’t even feel like putting a whole back story cause I’ve already tried. I’m 19, my sisters are 3 and 6. And I live with my mom and help pay rent. I try to take my mom out to eat but she doesn’t want to get out of bed half the time. Our house is a mess. I’ve cleaned it myself a few times just for it to get messy right away. We trying to get therapist but I think insurance was denied. I just need either advice or reassurance, that it won’t be like this forever. It’s been this way for 7 years now. 

5 Answers

  • 4 weeks ago
    Favourite answer

    Do what you can to get a therapist. You might find something good if you called your local social services (211?) or googled "affordable psychotherapy." The cost of therapy can vary a lot.

    The subject of motivation with depression is kind of complicated. A famous psychiatrist named Abraham Low said that when people are depressed, it's good for them to go about their daily activities as close to normal as possible. But how? Saying "Just do it" doesn't work. 

    People say, "I know there are things that will make me feel better - getting exercise, taking care of myself, straightening up the house and cleaning, but I'm depressed and I don't have the energy." The thing is, people do have energy when they're depressed - as much energy as they always do, but for some reason, the system is reluctant to let you use your energy. 

    Why is this? One theory - our prehistoric ancestors didn't get depressed, and we haven't evolved good instincts for dealing with depression.

    We have to use psychology to coax energy out of our systems. Psychology has some nifty tricks.

    Many years ago, that psychiatrist founded a self-help organization. Today it's known as Recovery International. You can contact them at their website or with Facebook. As this news report says, they have meetings - local and online - and books. They have great ideas for motivation.

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    I'll tell you a couple of simple tricks that I've found to be very useful. I used to have a terrible problem with procrastination, and these things helped me greatly.

    This is useful for all kinds of things you don't feel like doing. If a task seems like it's too big, think of it as a series of tasks that you can take on one at a time, and start with something really, really easy. Cleaning - start by cleaning for 3 or 4 min and take a 5 min break. Or start by just cleaning the kitchen counters. Work for longer and longer intervals but keep taking short breaks. Short breaks are good but always watch the clock.   

    Staying on task - if you find yourself dawdling, wasting time while you're working, here's a simple fix. Decide how much time it will take to get a task done and do it in that time, watching the clock.

    When we can't control our feelings we can still control our muscles. If you tell your arms and legs to get you to the bathroom for a shower, they will obey.

    Try this when it seems that you're too tired to work. Lie on the couch, close your eyes, and get ready to work by imagining yourself working for 5 minutes. Again, think in terms of taking it step by step and starting with something really easy.

    There's a lot of things that can help and most are low-cost, low-risk, and easy. The beauty of self-help is that you have a variety of good things that can be combined with each other.


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  • 4 weeks ago

    I am sorry that your mom is going through a serious depression right now. Try not to feel hopeless. If she doesn't want to go out to eat then don't force her to. If she can't get out of bed then ask her what she would like to do or have her see if she can get out of the bed and make it to a chair or the couch for a while. Call the insurance company and ask them for a list of therapist in your local area and then the insurance will not deny it. Remember, that it will not be like this forever.

  • 4 weeks ago

    Going out to eat would probably be stressful for her. Do things in small steps. Help her to plan something for the next day, like the two of you clearing up the kitchen and cooking a meal. Simple steps. 

    If she has a plan for the day it will help her focus and feel a sense of accomplishment as you two work together to make the room look different. If she begins to feel good about that and says that was not so bad, she will begin to look forward to doing more. 

    If yo can take her out for a walk, exercise helps a lot. She might not be eating correctly, so multivitamins will help, as will vitamin B for the brain. If she is not on medication, ashwagandha anf HTP can help. 

    She can change with your guidance and gentle pushing. 

  • 4 weeks ago

    Hello, I admire you for being so young and responsible. I really hope your mom feels better soon. In my case, the bible has helped me so much when it comes with depression. Please read the article below I hope you can find good advice. I wish your family anf you the best.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    hold hands with her and talk to her.

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