Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

I miss being young and beautiful where every guy looked at me and wanted me, is it possible to get that hot attention in your mid forties?

I am sort of depressed.

I used to have really long glossy hair, my stomach was super slim, teeth white as snow, skin silky and cute. I remember being a teenager all the way up to my mid twenties and guys would stare and I loved the attention. I loved how they would be nice to me and make me feel like I meant something.

I got married when I was 28, wasted 14 years with a guy who I found cheated on me. I was young, we did so much together and I felt I lived my life. 

Now, I am not that young girl anymore. I struggle to keep my waist slim no matter how much I walk or eat. I am not fat but I don't have that hot body either. My skins dried up, my hair lost its natural shine and my teeth arent white and pearly like they used to be. I just feel so insecure in the dating scene, I feel nobody wants me.

When I walk, I started to realise no guy looks at me anymore and I feel I wasted my youth on one guy who didn't even care about me. 

AM i thinking too much into it?

3 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    Lili made some good points, but I want to add a few things to them, plus a few of my own.  You are over thinking this a little.

    1.  If you want to look good, look good for yourself.   If you are eating right, exercising, and taking care of yourself, then you should be proud of that.  Would it be good for your ego if you had guys whistling at you?  Sure.. But learn to live for your approval and not the approval of others.

    2.  Your 14 years with the ex wasnt a total waste.  Hopefully there were some good times and improvement in yourself, so look at that.  But that's past, and it's time to move on.   It's not your fault, so don't punish yourself.  You have two choices:  you can wallow in self pity, or you can use this opportunity  rediscover yourself.  You are free to do whatever you want with your life, so don't waste another day looking backward.   Look forward.

    3.  This is where I disagree with Lili a little.  I think that there are younger guys who would be with you (if you are attractive).  However, what you are looking at are guys who probably want a fling with a cougar.  Now, if that's how you want to define yourself, have at it.  I'm sure you can find a club where there are younger "gentlemen" who will oblige you.  However if you want something more stable, I'm guessing there are older guys who would be honored to have an attractive 42 year old lady on their arm.  The beautiful thing is that you get to choose.  It's your life now.

    So in summary, take care of physically, find joys in your life that you can control, and look forward to the adventure of redefining who you are.

  • Lili
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I used to be a model.  I certainly don't look the way I did then, but I've taken very good care of myself, and I still get attention from men.  

    And I am past my 40s.

    I haven't put on any weight, and I've kept my teeth white (anyone can do that).  I dress well, and I look after my skin and hair. A lot of men find a woman who's slim and (age-appropriately) fashionable, who looks like she has a lot of sophistication and experience behind her, to be VERY sexy. I guarantee it.

    But you can't expect to attract the young men, and you shouldn't want to. You should be interested in age peers or somewhat older men.  Well, there are SOME younger men who go for significantly older women.  I'm a college professor, and there's at least one in my classes every year. I ignore him, because I don't find young men very interesting. I didn't find them interesting when I was a young WOMAN. Young men are boring and not very good in bed. Too inexperienced.

    You should also not try to dress like a 20-something.  Subtle sophistication in dress is a lot sexier than blatancy any day.  Believe me, any man with a brain thinks so, too. 

    And looks don't "mean" as much as you seem to think they do. The men who paid attention to you when you were a teen or 20-something usually did not think you "meant something" beyond their desire to have sex.

    By the way: how is skin "cute"?  You could use some writing classes. Your entire post isn't well-written. If you want to attract older men, you'll need to work on developing your mind along with looking good.

  • 1 month ago

    I get it. Its hi

    w u take care if yoyrself

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