Lara asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 4 weeks ago

Why some people are fake ?

I wonder as you can tell from the title, why some people are so bloody fake, they keep asking for notes, lectures  informations about how to do this and that, but once they are done or if you change university they stop tecting you  eventhough now when i help them alot, they never care when I have problems, also some roommates they keep being rude and disturb me especially the leder once(45 and older), i try to avoid problems and never reply and i end up changing my accommodation,I can't afford now renting an apartment alone plus i feel its not a wise option to stay alone especially i am a foreigner, please is something wrong with me, should i fight with them and make drama? Should reply to peoole immidiatly aggressively when i feel they start being rude? 

4 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago

    It sounds like you are a good person who is overly accommodating and offering help out of the kindness of your heart without vetting whether the people are worthy of your kindness. Learn to say no. Focus on yourself. Find other people who are more aligned with who you are...other intelligent, good hearted people, who share the same interests as you, so you do not keep getting taken advantage of and mistaking classwork needs as friendships.  

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

     Why repay rudeness with aggressiveness?   

    You do not have to provide notes, etc.

    Concentrate on your studies, especially improving your diction

  • 4 weeks ago

    Maybe it's you who's stuck up and making people uncomfortable..

  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Welcome to the USA. We have an attitude of "It doesn't hurt to ask. If he/she would rather not do what I ask then he/she will say no." So of course when you agree to do as someone asks, the assumption is that you're OK with it, that you don't mind and don't expect anything in return. If you expected something in return you would have said so. 

    Learn to say NO. Or maybe "Sorry, I can't do that for you." Don't apologize or explain or try to justify yourself or try to convince the other person that you have a good reason. Just "No, I can't do that." If the person gets mad, then the person can either get over it or die mad. 

    Learn to set boundaries, to voice your objections when other's overstep your boundaries. Confront interpersonal issues and differences instead of this "try to avoid problems" timidity. If you don't stop people from taking advantage of you, then a good many people will take advantage of you. 

    Pay attention to how Americans handle unwelcome requests. Maybe their behavior would be rude in your home culture, but you're not home. You need to behave in a way Americans understand even if that behavior would be considered rude at home. 

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