Friend keeps going back to toxic ex and coming to me crying ?
My friend broke up with her ex three weeks ago due to a lot of physical fights, damage to car/apartment. The relationship was very toxic, as you can see. My friend started to realize it too saying she doesn’t understand why should would stay in a relationship like that. They were in the process of moving out of the apartment. They got in contact through text and then decided to meet up at the apartment and have sex. I told my friend not too because someone is going to get the wrong idea. They’ve done it the past 3 days. got irritated and stopped talking to my friend as much. Yesterday my friend met up with me and was crying about how Dumb she was for doing that and she was crying saying she needs to stop. A few hours later her and her ex were on the phone arguing as usual. My friend planned on staying the night at my house....but later decided to stay with her ex again
What should I do
Her ex is a girl
- 1 month ago
Unfortunately, there is very little you can do. Your friend obviously cannot use her head so until then, you should keep your distance and make it obvious. If your friend values your friendship, she will smarten up and come back to you at the expense of the ex. If she is so caught up in her hot mess to realize you are gone, you are both better off not being friends. I understand this is difficult, however I hope it helps.
- Alan HLv 71 month ago
Do not get too involved. She has to make her own choices and live with the consequences. Just be available as a shoulder to cry on
- Anonymous1 month ago
She is so foolish. she will not listen to you. If she starts coming to you crying, tell her its her fault and you no lo9nger wish to hear it, then send her home to her mom.
- JerryLv 71 month ago
Provide your friend with a place to spend the night when she needs it. But otherwise leave it alone. You've already made your position, your views perfectly clear so don't bother repeating, repeating, repeating the same insights, the same advice.
The idea is to minimize the drama and stress FOR YOU without abandoning your friend. Stop encouraging her to talk about her & Mr. Doink. Let her know you're tired of hearing about her & Mr. Doink, that it's same old same old and you're not going to listen to it yet again. "I'm here for you if you need a place to go, if you need to be rescued in an emergency, but it upsets me too much to want to hear about it, talk about it. Let's talk about something else." Stop letting yourself be drawn into the drama monster stuff.
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- VPR_0000Lv 51 month ago
lol she likes him because he's alpha. Does whatever he wants and doesn't give af about what she thinks. She's innately attracted to this. It's in her DNA. You sound like the nice guy/shoulder to cry on, the exact type that women are sexually repulsed by. No offense, that's life. She'll always go back to him for it is in her nature. The only thing you can do is let her make her own mistakes.