Husband Doesn’t listen to me when I ask to help with house chores like taking out the trash.?

So I spend my days cooking, washing the dishes, caring a watching for our two yr old, and online school. All I asked my husband to do was take out the trash. He didn’t do it. I messaged him and he said he’s tired from work. But he slept and woke up and still didn’t do it. Listen I don’t have a problem doing it. It’s the fact that I feel like I’m doing so much chores and stuff to the point of breaking down. And crying because he can’t even do a simple task like take out the trash for trash day. 

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Once you are married for a while everything changes....unfortunately. My husband And I were married about 2 years when he started pulling that crap. We use to cook together,wash dishes together etc...now, he comes in and goes directly to the table to be served. He doesn’t even take his dishes to the sink. He eats then leaves the table and sits at the computer. So I cook, serve then get to clean everything up. I’ve become his mother basically. I pick up after him, cook for him, wash his clothes, hang  fold and put away his clothes etc... you get the idea. He does absolutely nothing around the house. 

    So, it’s not going to get any better. I wish I would have left years ago. I’ve been married 20+ years. I feel helpless and alone.

    You need to sit him down and talk to him (it probably won’t do any good) if I were you, I’d leave. 

    My friend once told me the two best ways to ruin a good relationship is sex and marriage. 

    Btw. I got the flu really bad and was unable To get out of bed. My husband never missed a beat. He went to his mother or sisters house and they cooked for him and did his laundry until I was able. And no, he didn’t lift a finger to help me. Never asked me if I needed anything. I’d crawl to the kitchen to get something to drink

  • 4 weeks ago

    Are you cooking for him? Washing his dishes? Sleeping with him? No doubt you are tired at the end of the day as well, due to the work you have been doing. 

    If you want him to take out the trash, ask him to do it. If you do it, why would he has no reason to do it himself. So tell him next time that you have left the trash for him to take out; no discussion. If he doesn't do it, it won't get done. Same with cooking. "It's your turn to cook this evening" 

    As long as your child is safe, you need to negotiate the division of labour in the home. 

    Good Luck!

  • 4 weeks ago

    Time for you to go to bed with an 'illness' where you cannot do anything at all because you feel so ill.  You might even have to go and stay with your mother/girlfriend (to look after you while you are 'ill') because you don't want him doing extra work as a nurse while he's so busy looking after the children, doing the home-schooling, all the laundry and cooking and cleaning.  Oh dear - won't that be difficult for him - and won't that trash pile up.  Message him and say you are so ill you are going back to mother for a couple of weeks.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    When I was a kid. My father worked, we took care of everything in the home. He did home upgrades or repairs in the home as needed. We were fine with it. You have one child, how busy are you really? Are you cleaning a mansion all day long. He has his job, you have yours, so do it, and leave him alone. Keep it up snowflake, you may be the ex snowflake in time.

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  • Rick B
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Sounds like you should be talking to him, not us.  You need to make sure that he understands how this makes you feel.

  • nalla
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    Next time he tries for sex just say you  are too tired

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    COMMUNICATION  is the key ro everything in marriage. Don't whine to us.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Ask a question please. 

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