Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 month ago

Did my mother invade my privacy ?

Last summer I moved away from my hometown. I rented a public storage unit which my mom paid for up until now. Stored away , were my personal belongings and clothing.

I moved out of state for a whole year . Meanwhile, my mom was responsible for my storage locker's maintenance, upkeep, payments. She rummaged through, sorted , organized and cleaned my stuff while I  was away. It wasn't until 3 days ago when I moved back to my hometown and opened my storage unit, that I discovered she neatly organized , packed and labeled boxes. And disposed of some stuff without my permission  .

I appreciate this, however I feel that my mom greatly invaded my privacy.

There were personal items inside of bags and boxes which my mom did not need to

see.

Specifically Magazines from gay bars.... And individually wrapped condoms and lubricant. Of course she labeled that box " Personal care"

Im bothered she took it up on herself to go through my personal items and clean up and even go as far as throwing away some of my clothing items without my permission.

I'm an adult male and some personal aspects of my life need to be kept private .

Mommy does not need to know every little detail about her 35 year old son.

Also seeing that I come from a religious and judgemental family .

Several members of my family will shame me because of the fact I'm sexually active.

But even more so because they suspect that my sexual affairs involve the same sex.

Your thoughts?

9 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If you didn't want your mother to have access to your stuff you shouldn't have stuck her with the bill for it. You should have made sure she didn't have the key if you were so concerned about your privacy. P.S. Mom knows you're gay and probably known since you were a small child. Doesn't seem she was all that shocked by what she found. You can call her intolerant all you like, but the fact that she organized your things instead of throwing them away says different. Maybe don't be so judgmental, even though I do know it's en vogue now to hate your parents. 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i wouldnt have given her the keys to your storage unit

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Yes your privacy was invaded. But you set yourself up. She paid for it and she was in charge. Anyway, it is now time to out your self too. You are on your own and paying your own bills. Maybe try a pro lgbt church - you could learn how interpret being a gay Christian in a positive way. Then you’ll be able to easily parry their wrongful interpretations. See notalllikethat.org. The secret is out now. No sense living in fear anymore. Make a new family now made up of people who support you. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    It's too late now. It's a "coulda woulda shoulda" situation. 

    What would bother me is if she shared what she found with others. Perhaps you should hit it head-on and tell her that you expect her to keep the contents of the locker confidential. If my mother betrayed me like, I wouldn't be able to look at or talk with her for a long, long time.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You couldn't figure out a way to make payments yourself while out of town?  Your mother paid for the locker for a long time, why shouldn't she have access?  This is your fault for failing to take care of this on your own.

  • 1 month ago

    Dear 35 year old, 

    She paid for you all these years, it is a surprise.  you should learn to stand by yurself and start support your parents by now

  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    People who want something done in a particular way should be doing that something themselves. Whenever you delegate, it's understood that the person to whom you delegate may act on his/her own discretion and judgment rather than be like a puppet entirely under your control. If you want to keep something private then keep it private, like in a locked box, instead of expecting that nobody is going to see what you can't be bothered to secure. 

  • Cogito
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    At 35 you should be dealing with all your personal things yourself and not leaving it to your mother! 

    If she was responsible for the locker's maintenance, upkeep, payments she was at liberty to do just that.  YOU gave her the key, presumably, so what did you expect?

    And if she was paying for the locker, it's technically her, not yours anyway.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Your mother paid for your storage, and you left her in charge. It's your responsibility to protect YOUR privacy, not hers.

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