Can someone give me impartial advice about my stressful marriage?

I’m feeling alone and don’t know what to do. I’ve been married for 9 years, 2 kids and am unhappy in my relationship. My husband hasn’t been happy for a while, he’s not fulfilled, doesn’t like his job, we don’t have enough intimacy, family problems. It’s always something. He isn't unhappy all the time, most of the time he's a great guy that makes everything fun, silly, passionate and exciting but when something's bothering him, it's stressful. Early in our relationship when I saw this I was supportive and understanding. It's in my nature to talk and understand better, to create peace. It helped a little but never really solved the problem that coming back, the peace never lasted and I began to feel resentment towards him. I got tired of having to walk on eggshells. I was anxious, waiting for stress. I work full time, I’m a mom and in my spare time walk on eggshells. Help! Do I work through this? Do I move on? The pain of that thought and how it will affect my kids is too painful to bear. There’s also good times between us too. I’m so lost.

4 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Can you get him to agree to sit down, and TALK about things that is bothering him and yourself, without going off the deep end? Try to work n solving the problem. Or maybe he needs someone to talk to , like a therapist. Can he look for a new job, he does know, most people hate there jobs, but for many reasons are forced to stay? Sometimes its easier to speak to a stranger than your spouse.  I wish you both luck and getting back on track.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    You mentioned early in the relationship you noticed this "ouch" that's got to hurt that you never listened to your gut feelings. That said, you've still gone on to have children with someone that I believe suffers from depression, hence, the lack of intimacy when things are seriously fogging his life and also during his bouts of sunshine as depression suppressors the libido! Left untreated will only cause your marriage to continually loop this lifestyle that is more in-sink with him by now than it ever will be for you. He needs to visit and talk to his GP/Doctor asap before he does something that might very well change all your lives in the worst possible sense!

  • 4 weeks ago

    You say most of the time he's happy and a great guy. well nobody is happy the WHOLE time.

    How does this unhappiness manifest though? Does he drink, get angry? abusive?

    You have explained the type of person you are, supportive and caring but when he gets like that,does he tell you to leave him alone? And if he does.. do you?

    Sometimes it is best to let someone who is angry to calm down and wait for them to come to you rather than you go to them.

  • 4 weeks ago

    maybe you shouldnt be with him if you feel that way

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