Anonymous

How do i get my parents to stop asking about my nonexistent sex life?

19, female.

Sex is not something I am very interested in, but whenever I bring around a friend who happens to be the opposite gender, my parents pry and pry and pry and press me to tell them if I have had sex with that person. And if I say no or tell them to stop, they call me a prude and a goodie two shoes. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I feel gross. I don't know what do do. They have been doing this to me since my freshman year of high school. 

I don't know why they keep asking about it but it makes me want to cry. I don't know how to make them stop, I've tried talking to them about it but they aren't people I can really talk to. They just make fun of me if I do something that doesn't align with what they agree with or believe. 

This has been a problem for a loooong time and it's put a lot of strain on friendships and potential relationships I could have had. What do I do?? I am so sick of it.

On top of that, my dad used to sometimes make comments on my body, primarily when I was still a minor. Nothing ever came of it other than him making me highly uncomfortable ie telling me to feed my newborn sister with my "mosquito bites" when I was 14. Or smacking my butt until shortly after I turned 18. I told him to stop many, many times. 

Basically

I want them to stop this forever. Just stop sexualizing me. Please. 

2 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    I think teasing you a little about the sex stuff and over hyping having male friends is a pretty common thing. However if it makes you uncomfortable that is totally valid. They may be saying some of this stuff because deep down they are concerned about you. Like about sexuality or if you said you were having sex then concern about STDs and pregnancy. Maybe they act nonchalant so you won't be afraid to talk about it with them, but they are going too far the other way (calling you a prude and such). That or they are just very open about that stuff and don't have good boundaries/filters when it comes to sex talk. The stuff with your dad is a bit concerning, however I come from a family that gave birthday spankings until I was well into my teens. Butt smacking was always something playful and not sexual. Again, if this make you feel uncomfortable that is totally valid. I am just trying to offer some insight as to why it may be happening.

    As far as how to stop it, that is a tough one. You seem like a more reserved person (sorry if that is a bit off base) and like you may have a hard time speaking up. I think the next time they say anything you can do one of two things. Either bite back/snap a them a little. Be real assertive with your tone and tell them that you don't appreciate your sex life being questioned and that it makes you uncomfortable. That they need to stop and respect your wishes by backing off. Or you simply say in a calm, yet assertive tone "My sex life is none of your business" and leave it at that. If they egg you on, you ignore it or you repeat yourself. "Again, my sex life is none of your business".

    I wish you the best of luck and I hope that this helped. 

  • 1 month ago

    Just tell your parents they are intruding, and go about your life. 

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