How to deal with an alcoholic ?

So today marks that my husband and I have been married for one year and mind you we have had our good times and we have had our not so good times. Well last night was one of those not so good times. We were enjoying our dinner and we were drinking as well and he asked me what I thought of the food and I was trying to make a joke and say it takes like my mom made it ( He complains that my mom doesn't use enough salt on her food) but I was just making a joke I thought he would understand. Well it came out into a full blown argument  because his cousin made the food but just prior to that he was complaining about how he did didn't like her potato salad smh anyways we got into a huge argument and I was so upset that I said I well I didn't ask to be sleeping in a car for two years (we are currently living in an extended stay) but I said it out of anger because he kept saying my family is trash and they don't help us but my mother has brought his daughter school supplies and has went grocery shopping for us as well. But I don't know what to do this isn't the first time his drinking has gotten out of hand like I admit I'm a fun drinker I like to crack jokes but he's so angry when he drinks is there any way to deal with an alcoholic spouse ? Like I can't enjoy drinking with him because his anger just ruins my buzz he's like that with everyone 

Update:

Also my husband is 39 and I'm 27

Update 2:

I want to add we spend $327 a week at the hotel and we are able to get food my mother just goes shopping for us out of the kindness of her heart 

8 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 month ago

    First off, an alcoholic is someone who has an addiction to alcohol and drinks excessive. So you might not want to throw the word ‘alcoholic’ around, especially in relation to your husband. 

    Second, let him know how you feel about this. Tell him what you’re feeling, without judgement and find a solution for it. Maybe consider couples counselling 

  • 1 month ago

    SO? BOTH stop drinking. Perhaps

     what you think of as "funny" when you have "got your buzz on" just isn't at all. Then he can't seem to handle the booze either. Lay off the drinking, stop enabling the "alcoholic" spouse and then see if things improve.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Divorce him..........

  • 1 month ago

    This does not come across as healthy in any way. He spends his money on booze and your mother pays for his daughter. Why on earth should she?!

    I urge you to get some help as suggested by others, or his poor daughter will be fatherless effectively, and you will have no marriage. Not that it is much of a marriage if you have no home.

    I wish you well.

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • 1 month ago

    I dumped my alcoholic girlfriend recently, couldn't deal with someone who wouldn't even try to get help

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    This does NOT sound like you're a "fun drinker."  Alcoholics never recognize other alcoholics.  I know - my grandfather, my father, my sister, her son, all alcoholics.

    You can join a "Families of Alcoholics" group OR you can decide that 2 years in an extended stay hotel is as much time as you want to be homeless and file for divorce.

  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Al-Anon is a support group/resource for family members of alcoholics. You could see if you can find a group in your area or some online support from them. But you have a lot more going on here than just his drinking. You are two grown adults with at least one child between you who don’t have a stable living environment. Not to sound judgmental, but how can you afford to drink regularly if you need help with groceries and school supplies? You may need to take a serious look at the choices you’re making.

  • 1 month ago

    It's long been a known fact that drinking with an alcoholic who is drinking will result in alcoholic behaviors. It doesn't matter if it's you he's drinking with or the guy he hates on the other ball stool. It's liquor and metabolism. You are 100% RIGHT.... you can not "enjoy drinking" with a man who is an alcoholic and tends to anger. Are you sure you are not an alcoholic too?Just one with a different set of behaviors? Is it better or worse when you both are not drinking? 

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.