Coworker on my last nerve?

Junior co-worker in my group is defiant against proper team conduct and expectations. I am 4 years her senior in the group.  She hasn't completed 1 year yet. From the get-go, she has defied copying the group we're part of in her emails.  She said she copies the managers from our team but that isn't enough when the managers are out.  She recently threw a fit because I asked her about an email sent to us by a stakeholder who hadn't received a reply in 2 weeks.  TWO WEEKS.  She confronted me about why I am interjecting and escalating.  Then told me some other dialogue exists, which I am not privy to.  How would I have known?  I had to escalate this; she has been acting this way since she started.  I haven't mentioned yet, how she throws hissy fits during meetings when someone else mentions an idea she thought of but didn't voice.  You read that right.  No one knows she thought of something, but because she "meant" to say it and didn't get credit for it she gets publicly upset.

How do I manage this?

6 Answers

  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Are you supposed to manage this? It sounds like you are peers on the same team, not that she is a subordinate, which means you don’t have to manage her. Relative to the email situation, was the email addressed to her specifically, with the rest of the team on copy? If that’s the case, then she’s right that it isn’t your place to have escalated or questioned it, because she was the one responsible for responding to it. Which it sounds like she was doing, even if you weren’t copied on everything. Unless everyone on your team works on every single thing (in which case why have multiple people?), then you need to accept that you might not have visibility on every single communication. 

    You sound like you are a bit of a control freak on a power trip. You aren’t the boss. Stop trying to act like one. Do nothing about this coworker. If she doesn’t get something done or communicated, then she can fall on her face and crash and burn. But stop trying to control everything.

  • 1 month ago

    Your job here is to go to your manager and ask for a  15 minute sitdown and discuss this. 

  • You may have seniority over her but if you're not the boss, you can't tell her what to do. Your her co worker, you're not her boss. 

    You can go to your boss and inform them about her behavior. Your boss should have a chat with her about this, and deal with the issues.

  • 1 month ago

    You don't have any supervisory authority over her

    She is your peer.

    If you don't like how she handles communication with you, you escalate it to your boss.  If her boss is ok with it, you learn to deal. 

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  • 1 month ago

    maybe you should talk to your manager about it

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You tell your boss.

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