Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdoption · 1 month ago

Can you be too old to adopt a child?

Me and my partner are 51 and have been thinking of maybe adopting. We miss having a young child around and being able to interact with them. We already have a 17 yr old daughter, but she’s focused on her schooling and does everything for herself so we hardly ever get to be involved with her. Plus she’s always been very distant and doesn’t want to have her own kids. I hate to say it but being honest, she’s kind of useless to us now. We want to have a child that we can enjoy out time with and be able to do things with them. Could we be too old to adopt?

7 Answers

  • 1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Not too old, but adopting for the wrong reasons is the problem there.

    Source(s): Adoptee and Adoptive Mom.
  • John P
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    There certainly is an upper limit, but it differs from country to country, possibly from state to state in the USA.

    I might assume that 51 is above the limit in most parts of the world. Get local legally valid info.

  • Marvin
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I can answer this easily.  Are you in good health, do you have a stable home, and a clean criminal record? Income does not seem to matter.

    I am 54, and I adopted a 15 year old last year. I have no previous experience with children. I have been child-free my entire life.  

    The short story is my wife and I flew to Thailand to meet him. I knew then that I had found a son when he bowed and called me paepae.  Getting his visa took about 7 months. The adoption formalities took six months.

    Getting his visa was expedited thanks to help from my congressman, my veteran status, etc.  None of that makes any difference if you are adopting a child that lives in the USA.

    He is an "A" student, and very helpful around the house.  He hugs me when I come home for work, and before he goes to bed.  He knows he was chosen. He also knows he was rescued. He is very grateful, and very respectful.

    There is some truth to what OIKOC said. If you adopt a baby, then you will be 64 when he or she is a teen. I think maybe you will want an older child.

    Do not attempt to adopt unless you have a lot to give, and that you know you will never turn you back on him or her when he or she is 17.

    Your daughter is smart if she decides not to have children.  Most of the women I dated all my life were not "mother material" and smart enough to know it.

  • 1 month ago

    Wow, you feel your daughter is already “useless” to you at the ripe old age of 17? I can only *wonder* why she doesn’t want to spend time with you. Do you not recall being a brooding teenager? It’s something most go through. You ought to be thrilled she’s concerned with her schooling and not the typical things teens preoccupy themselves with. You also shouldn’t want to handicap your child just so you can do things for them forever. How would she care for herself when YOU are too old to do basic things for yourself, much less for her? 

    All children, barring the ones who die, also grow up. Any child you and your partner decide to adopt will hopefully grow up to be independent and take an interest in education just like your biological daughter. Education and learning are both essential to life. 

    You are not too old to adopt a reasonably aged child (probably 12+ would be best considering your ages), but you certainly have a personality flaw that needs to be worked on prior to adopting. I really do not feel like you should even be able to adopt. I feel for your daughter. I can only hope you are a troll.

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  • 1 month ago

    No, you can’t be too old to adopt. If I were in your situation with those ages, I would look into adopting a teenager who has a child or more and that way you could take care of the teenagers as well as the baby or babies.

  • Etta
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Here in UK they work out you can be no more than 40 to 45 years older than the child, have you never considered being a foster parent.

  • 1 month ago

    You're 51 now. How old are you going to be when the adoptee is in his/her teens and REALLY becomes a problem?

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