... asked in HealthMen's Health · 1 month ago

I need advice on shyness?

I turned 28 and I am terribly shy, to the point that I can't enjoy an active sexual life and I know, go ahead, mock me, that's terribly embarrassing at my age. But If you'd like to give me an advice, I'd thank you. I want to have a more free, open and healthy life. 

Update:

I'm a dude

8 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    A psychiatrist or a psychologist might help you.

  • Fred
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    My ex-wife was very shy which did cause us problems as I was a person who liked to socialize and my wife didn't,  If we went out to a party she would sit in the corner on her own too shy to talk to anyone.  People tried to include here in conversations but she would shy away.  When we got home I generally got told off because she felt I should sit with her and not actually talk to other people.  She resented me going out and would expect me to stay home with her all the time.

      It can be difficult to overcome shyness when you have been shy all your life but I think you have to force yourself to be with the other people you know even if you have little to say.  There is very little else I can tell you to do but unless you force yourself to at least be with others you will never overcome the shyness.  Perhaps if someone comments on you being very quiet be honest and say you suffer from shyness so others understand and take that into consideration as there are some very nice people out there who will understand and accept it and will not think badly of you.  Hopefully this would lead to acceptance and eventually you feeling a bit more confident to say something to do with a conversation.

      Many who were bullied as kids were constantly told they were ugly or talked down as a way of hurting them and destroying their self confidence and were generally not listened to when they tried to talk.  Many of these bullied people become withdrawn and believe they are so ugly no one wants to talk to them as they were told this constantly as kids.  The truth is there was nothing wrong with their looks and it was the bullies being nasty trying to destroy the person's self confidence.  If this happened to you as a kid you must lose the belief you were ugly as likely you are just a normal looking guy.  These bullied kids grow up believing no one wants to hear what they have to say and start withdrawing from others to lead a more solitary life.  Thankfully bullying is a kids thing and generally as adults these people are actually quite remorseful for the bullying they did but unfortunately they did quite a bit of damage to another person's self confidence to the point they may have turned the person into a loner.  If this happened to you then you must understand it was not you being unfit to be treated as a normal human being but rather the work of another person who decided you were to be the centre of their bullying and unfortunately many immature kids side with the bully as they are scared if they don't the bully may turn on them.  Bullying is all about controlling you and others.  if this happened to you then you must stand tall and be determined as well as understand the world of adults generally do not bully and you would get a fair go in a group or with another person.

      My ex-wife used to believe no one liked her and finally she got so lacking in self confidence she started to push me away claiming she knew I didn't love her until it caused out marriage to fail.  There was nothing I could do to make her stop this negative behavior and she progressively got worse.

      Sorry I cannot offer a more positive advice to help but only you can overcome your shyness and to do that you have to push yourself to have more contact with people as you must learn some confidence in yourself.  Many people who understand your shyness will understand and will still welcome you into their lives so make the effort when you find these people.

  • 1 month ago

    It's unclear whether your problem is limited to dating and sex or if it extends to work, friendships, and other aspects of life.  Since you are distressed about it, it warrants investigating it.  I strongly suggest you consult your family doctor or seek a therapist directly for a consultation and evaluation.  You need to be diagnosed, just like if your arm hurt a doctor would have to find out why before doing anything about it.

    Based on the findings, a doctor/therapist might decide you have a clinical medical condition or just shy within "normal limits."  The treatment is not guaranteed to involve taking meds but it might.  Most likely you will be given multiple options about what can be done and you will have plenty of input into which choice is taken.  I think if you go through the process of such an evaluation by trained medical personnel, it will be a bit challenging initially, but I think you will be pleasantly surprised by all the effective treatment options that might be available to you.  You're NOT doomed by this forever.  See your doctor and see where it leads.  Better days are ahead if you do.  Good luck!

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Social anxiety can be treated....ask a doctor to prescribe Paxil for you...it will take about 3 weeks to really kick in, but it will work. I had this problem for years,even in my school years, yes it messed me up there too, and I got tired of it, I saw my Doctor, and he prescribed Paxil, it was like a new life inside of a month. I had no side effects to it at all. Other than being mad at myself for waiting so long to get treatment. See your doctor. I think you will be very happy you did.  Good luck

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  • 1 month ago

    Sad to say but shyness is incurable. You can pay for it or just accept your condition.

  • 1 month ago

    Try online dating, there you can get to know someone and move as fast or slow as the two of you agree on.

    You can build a level of comfortableness before you meet face to face.

    Start with emails, then maybe Zoom or FaceTime then meet face to face when you're ready.

    Also, being shy can be endearing... but it helps if the other person knows you are shy... otherwise they may think you're "stand-offish".

    So make sure to say a little blurb about being shy in your profile description.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Semen retention. Search No-fap in youtube.

    Source(s): Your welcome.
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I am not sure if you are male or female but from a female, I think you should masturbate often with your fantasies. The more comfortable you are, the more natural it will feel and slowly start to lose inhibitions with your partner 

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