Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

My husband is spiraling out of control. I understand I cheated but is it something deeper going on here with him ?

I had a 7 month long emotional and sexual affair with a man while me and my husband were going through marital problems. I felt like I couldn’t talk to him and he could not be the safe space I needed because he always seemed to be irritable. In any case it’s no excuse and  I am taking responsibility for what I’ve done and I’ve blocked the other man out of my life. But the other man did show my husband nude pictures I had taken, and he sent screenshots of me talking badly about my husband. I also told the other man I was going to leave my husband for him when I got on my feet. I don’t think I ever loved the other man I think my emotions got the best of me and I just said some crazy things in the midst of being vulnerable. My husband said the only reason I want to work things out with him is because the other dude turned out to be crazy and said he can’t be . That is true that he turned out to be crazy but I genuinely left the other dude alone once I realized what a huge mistake i made. I had went to therapy for a couple of weeks after this happened because this is the second time I cheated I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me  and it turned my entire perspective around and now I value my husband more then anything. He’s still filing for divorce though but he agreed to be my friend and we talk everyday which I’m grateful for. I would feel this huge void in my life if he wasn’t around at all. 


My husband is just now telling me that he planned a trip to Paris for us where we would renew our vows this year. I never expected this from him because he is not her romantic type.. 

Update 2:

He is not the romantic type he shows his love by giving me Taking me wherever I need to go and giving me money. I don’t work as my husband made a lot of money and said I didn’t need to.

Update 3:

Another reason he’s mad is because I gave that other dude gifts with his money.. I know It was another stupid move on my part..

Update 4:

The reason I think he’s spiraling out of control is because after he found out about me cheating he immediately moved out of the house and to his mothers house? He said he wants to live with her forever. 

Update 5:

He’s a 37 year old man who wants to live with his mom forever? He left me the house which I’m grateful for but he has enough money to get another place of his own so why is he settling living with his mom forever Are you kidding me? 

Update 6:

seems like he’s just wanting to be stagnant now. He also got a BUISNESS proposition in another city but turned it down. 

Update 7:

He also said he probably will never get married again or even be in a relationship. Said relationships aren’t for him because he gets irritated in every relationship he’s in. He had been with me the longest out of everyone. I told him it’s not normal to always be irritated with your spouse and he said “ I don’t need anyone to complete me. I’m at peace with being alone.”

5 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You are quite the selfish being. What’s wrong with wanting to live with his mother despite having the money to maintain a separate living place. All the relationships he had been with irritated him, especially the last one he was cheated on. He just clearly wants some love and since he can’t get that from a dirty cheater like you, he can only substitute with his mother’s familial love. He just wants some peace.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Oh, lets blame the victim.  I sure hope he has the nuts to see a divorce lawyer.

  • David
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    You CHEATED.  Based on the circumstances....your husband has the patience of a saint.   There is NOTHING wrong with him except that he is insane to keep talking to you at all.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    He has a "buisness" proposition?  I would think a businessman would want a corporate wife who can express herself in English.  Perhaps I'm wrong.

    First time I would understand.  Second time?  You're a wh*re.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Well, sounds like you's a ho.  You should find yo own retirement, let your husband go find someone who loves him.  The reason he was so irritable was becaw yo unloving ***

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