If you came out as gay to your friend...?
If you came out as gay to one of your friends and they completely act like they never heard it and carry on speaking to you without ever addressing the issue or asking any questions, how should you take it? Is it possible for a friend not to actually care that you made the effort to tell them more about yourself?
- TjLv 71 month ago
He may need some time, to think about it. He may also, maybe thinking about himself and what he is. You never know, he may be gay also. So, he has a lot to process. You told him, he did not respond positive or negative. Just go about your normal life with him. In time his feelings will come out. I do hope the best for you both.
- HMFanLv 71 month ago
Perhaps to your friend the fact that you’re gay doesn’t make a difference. It’s not that they don’t CARE, but they don’t see your sexuality as the only factor upon which to base your friendship. If I may ask: how old were you when you came out? Realize that it took you to THAT age to accept yourself. For many people, that’s a long time. You really can’t expect someone ELSE to accept it in a span of day (or week or month) when it took YOU years. Perhaps your friend is still processing the information. Like coming out, you can’t FORCE anyone to process that news any faster than they can.
To us LGBTQ+ people, coming out is probably THE definitive moment in our lives. It is when we transition from living in the darkness of the closet and stepping into the light of living. IT’S A BIG EVENT. A VERY BIG EVENT. But for whatever reason, it’s NOT that big an event to others, primarily because it’s not the story of THEIR life. Our circumstances are very important to us because they are simply that: OUR circumstances. That doesn’t mean they will be equally important to OTHERS. Some people WILL ask you about it; others will choose to “ignore” the information. Let the matter go. You’ve passed on the information to your friend; you can’t control how your friend deals with that information.
- SkyLv 71 month ago
Hypothetically speaking (since I'm not gay), I would take it that my friend views my homosexuality as no different and no more remarkable than if I was heterosexual, so it doesn't exactly require more discussion. It could alternatively (or additionally) mean that yeah, he doesn't care that I made an effort to tell him more about myself because maybe he is uncomfortable getting to know people on that sort of personal level. Now, if the topic came up in the future such as me telling him about a boyfriend, and my friend changed the subject or outright said he didn't want to talk about it, then I would press him to explain whether he has a problem with me being gay.
- Anonymous1 month ago
I would stop the conversation and make sure that my friend heard me and understood what that meant and ask if they had any comments. It might not be a big deal to them vs they don’t know how to process it. One time I did come out to a group of buddies. One of them had been so intent on saying what he had to say to the group he didn’t hear me. Anyway, later he came back and was mortified. But what ever the case, I would get clarity from the friend. Communication is key.
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- Melbourne BoiLv 61 month ago
Perhaps young people nowadays already accepted that homosexual is part of life. They view that as part of normal everyday. They love you as a friend. Be grateful for that.
- 1 month ago
Maybe they already suspected it and don't want to make a big deal or have it change y'all's relationship. I wouldn't press it on them tho just in case it does make them uncomfortable. Maybe they didn't know how to respond in that moment. I'm sure your friend loves you for you.
- 1 month ago
"Coming Out" is a very old-fashioned and dated thing to do.
There's no need to make an announcement about your sexual orientation -- straight people don't, so why should we?
Just speak normally about your life and naturally mention your boyfriend or other romantic interest when it comes up.
Coming Out is Over.
- 1 month ago
If they continue to ignore that side of you and pretend like it doesn’t exist I’d stop being friends with them.