Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingPregnancy · 1 month ago

Is this the truth and I just need to understand it?

I live with my bf and our son at his moms house and I am 9 months pregnant. I give birth in 2 weeks. His mom told me today I need to lose weight after the baby because I am going to lose her son. He always jokes about my weight during my whole pregnancy calling me fat and ugly. I laugh it off because we’ve been together for 7 years and I get his humor sometimes. He’s hard on me especially now a days since I’m always tired and dealing with our toddler I feel I do that by myself. He pushes weed out his moms house but did go to school for mechanical work but quite he said he made more pushing pot. His mom told me I need to leave after the baby comes because she can’t do this anymore but if I need help her and my child’s father will be there to help financially. When I was 7 months pregnant I took a cna nursing class so once I get situated after the baby I will continue my education to become a RN. But she told me that I need to get my life together and that I wouldn’t want my son dating a girl like me one day. My child’s father is always yelling at me an tells me how much he wants to punch me in the face all the time he also points out other females who are smaller than me and even before I got pregnant he would become so mad he actually hit me. He yells at our 3 year old in his face when he pees on himself.I have to move out of state after my c section to my parents house &deal with the help from afar My parents and I don’t get along which is why I moved away in the first place

6 Answers

  • LizB
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    None of these comments are "jokes," they are abused disguised as humor. I'm guessing if you try to express that it hurts your feelings, your bf/MIL responds, "It's just a joke, don't be so sensitive!" That's called gaslighting. Absolutely textbook definition of gaslighting.

    What's truly amazing is your MIL keeps trying to convince you that you're not good enough for her son. Girlfriend, it's EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE. You are responsible, you are pursuing your education, and you're not making a living off of illegal activities. Your bf on the other hand is lazy, selfish, abusive, and quite likely going to land himself in jail someday. HE doesn't deserve YOU.

    Quite honestly I think you should move in with your parents now, before you give birth. Don't tell your bf what you're doing, just go. Even if you don't get along, you'd have some family support instead of the daily abuse you face now. You need to also contact an attorney ASAP for advice, since moving out of state when you have a child with someone else is dicey. It's much easier legally to do while you're still pregnant, but you have the 3 year old which makes things more complicated. But if you can prove that you felt genuinely threatened for your and your children's safety (which you likely can), that will work in your favor. In the meantime, collect EVERY BIT of evidence of your bf's and MIL's abusive behavior you can. Keep text messages, screenshot conversations, take notes of every abusive interaction with a description, date, and time of the incident, and take pictures if he causes physical harm. Store these things in a place he won't find, like a separate email address he can't get access to. The lawyer you speak with will also have more detailed advice.

  • John P
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    In human relationships there is no absolute 'truth'. But I agree with Ranchmom - you seem to have ended up with a bad lot as a boyfriend and I only wish I could see a better future for you. Might it be better for you to put your present toddler and your new baby up to be adopted? Then you might be able to rebuild your life away from your abusive b/f and away from your own parents.

    Good luck in life, whatever you choose.

  • Cammie
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You should go to court to get a parenting schedule [ I'd bee worried about him being alone with the kids ] and to settle child support. You are not wrong or bad for doing this.It is the best and legal way of doing things like this.

    Congrats on your new baby .

  • 1 month ago

    The truth is he is an abusive person who deals drugs.

    When you leave for your parents, do not return.

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    well, dear, u lived with his mom while having one child and u did not have education or decent job and he didn't either and yet u decided to get another child. if u re a future nurse no way u didn't know about the benefits of modern contraception.  so what does it tell about u? and please do not make yourself a victim - it takes 2 to make u pregnant

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Your boyfriend gets his issues from his mom, that means it's genetic insanity. I'd say you need to move back with your parents ASAP before you end up being abused physically because your already being abused verbally and emotionally as well as your 3 year old. Your boyfriend is probably on his way to prison for his ignorance and criminal behavior so you'll be a single mom of 2 real soon. So it's best to make the decision to focus on yourself and children in a stable environment while presuing your RN degree. Good luck to you and your children get away from that mess safely.

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