Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

To experiment or not to experiment ?

I'm a married woman and my married best friend recently came out bi to me and after consulting my husband, he is fine with me experimenting with her (because I've never experimented with a girl before.) Her and her husband pretty much have an open marriage and invite other women into their relationship. I'm just unsure if I want to try experimenting or not. I see room for regret whether I do or don't. My husband gave his blessing but I guess I would still feel like I'm cheating ? But also I never had this sort of experience so I also kinda don't want to pass it up ? I'm very back and forth with the idea. 

What would you do if you were me ?

(Try not to be a dick ?) 

Update:

More details: My husband is okay with it because he knows I'm straight. I just sometimes feel bi-curious. I know women who discovered preferring women when they hit their late 30's so I know not everyone 'just knows' what they like til they try it. For me it would have been about fun and experience. 

8 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    How does your husband feel about you having sex with her husband because that's where it will end up. Experimenting with her is one  thing but her husband will eventually want to join in and that would be a deal breaker for me. 

    Better to find a single woman than take a chance with a married couple. But in any case it will eventually erode and ruin your marriage. DON'T DO IT

  • RP
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    If your spouse has given you the green light, it would definitely not be cheating, but that doesn't mean you may not find out things that could pose problems for your marriage. The most obvious prospect is that you would enjoy being with your friend more than your spouse and, as a result, your marriage would take on a different role in your life. If that is something you could handle and your spouse is not concerned with the possibility, then you should go ahead without reservation, but, if the idea of unintended consequences frightens either of you and you want to maintain your marriage, you should probably pass up the opportunity.

  • 2 months ago

    ROTFL! oh wow! You really are a piece of work

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    It's actually kind of insulting to the bi community when people like you reduce our relationships to "experiments". But if you think you might be bisexual and feel a strong impulse to do this and your husband agrees (because apparently he doesn't take same sex relationships seriously either) you don't want to do it with a friend. This stands the chance of not only screwing up your marriage but also seriously damaging your friendship. Find a stranger if you must do this thing that you should have done prior to marriage. Marriage is supposed to be when you commit to one person, regardless of physical attraction to a gender they are not, because you're ready to give up that part of yourself. I did it, several other bi women I know did it. It just sounds like you were really ready to be married. Also, this isn't some once in a lifetime opportunity. Same sex attracted women are all over the place and it's not like you'll never have another chance. 

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  • 2 months ago

    I can only say that sex gets in the way of friendship.  It is almost inevitable that sooner or later things go awry.  Then you lose both a friend and a lover.  Yet I also know how curiosity can eat into you.  Temptation is a cruel mistress.  You don't want regret or curiosity to be permitted to destroy your marriage.  If it truly becomes a matter of lose a friend or lose your marriage then there is only one answer.

    Of course it is possible to have a fling and then let it subside naturally.  Yet this is a difficult path to follow.

  • J
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    Don’t sleep with your best friend. Nothing good will come from that.

  • 2 months ago

    Your husband is totally okay with your taking up having an affair with your best female friend? I laughed. And I laughed because I know of two couples who brought another woman into their bed because of the husband's fantasy and in both of those cases, the two women ran off together and the marriage was forever destroyed. You are either bi or you are not. There is zero reason for experimentation to discover just in case. You are a married woman. Do you and your husband WANT an "open marriage" (usually don't survive 7 years) because that is a path with ramifications. I've yet to see one case where, long run, it brought the married couple closer together. 

  • 2 months ago

    Stick to reading fiction, instead of writing it, you're not very good at it. 

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