Need advice? I don’t want to pursue this new opportunity but feel obligated now?

My husband just got a new job 1.5 hours from our house and starts next week. He is going to commute for now but we both agreed that eventually when the time is right, we would move closer to his new job. My current job is 30 minutes from where we live now and I was starting to feel burned out in my role so my husband suggested I start looking for new opportunities now rather than wait. He mentioned my experience to the VP of HR at his new job and the VP gave him his contact info for me. I reached out and we had a phone interview. He then put me in touch with another director at the company who is hiring in sales. I had a phone interview with him and now they want me to come on site for an interview. The thing is, I’m not really interested in this position and I also don’t want to commute that far even temporarily (can’t carpool with hubby as we’ll have different hours) and this company is Korean owned and they literally work around the clock, and that’s not for me. I work hard during business hours but then I enjoy Family time after work and I don’t want them to overlap. The thing is now I feel obligated to follow through with this because my husband is starting next week. I don’t want to make him look bad but I don’t want this job. I wish I never reached out to the VP of HR. What should I do?

Update:

I don’t currently work in sales by the way, I work in legal/compliance field so this would be a big career change and I know I have the right to turn it down but I don’t want it to reflect poorly on my husband. They emailed me last night at 7pm and then texted my husband telling him to ask me to respond an hour later. That’s crazy to me. 

8 Answers

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  • Jane
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I think the best approach is to thank them for their interest, say that you have to see out your current professional responsibilities and that you are unable to give any commitment for the foreseeable future.Keep your response simple, and make it clear that you are not available- don't get drawn into any discussion about it. This has the ring of truth and allows you to withdraw respectfully.It's great that they are so keen to bring you into the company 'family', however I agree that you should trust your instincts. I am sure that you and your husband will be able to develop a path together that works for all of you. And breathe! 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    The economy is so unstable.  Now is not the time to be changing jobs unless you got laid off from your previous job and are forced to change jobs.  What guarantee do you have that your new job won't lay you off in 6 months?

  • 1 month ago

    Look for other job opportunities in the area that will allow you to commute with your husband and THEN look for a place to live that is closer to BOTH your jobs.

    Tell the VP that you are pursuing other opportunities because you want to be able to commute with your husband to save on expenses.

    And just because it is Korean owned does not mean that all of the employees work 24/7/365.  If it is the the USA they have to abide by the same labor laws as every other business in that state.

  • 1 month ago

    I agree it's "crazy".

    If it was me, I'd say my husband and I have talked about it.  We are very excited about his new opportunity, as a family both of us working for the same company would not be ideal. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Just tell the truth 

  • Alex
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    First of all, you're not going to make your husband look bad.  Unless the company has less than 20 people, the person or people doing the recruiting will have little to no involvement with the people your husband work with on a day to day basis.  One person doesn't want to move forward in the interviewing process?  They simply call someone else who does.  I promise, they will have forgotten about you before their next cup of coffee.

    On a side note, here is something to tell your husband that may make your decision easier for him to accept.  When a husband and wife both work for the same company, and that company has a round of layoffs, both spouses could face the prospects of losing their jobs at the same time as each other.  This would be very bad.  In fact, it happened to a family member of mine and his wife, they both worked for what seemed to be a booming business.  Then the company decided for whatever reason that they needed to cut costs, so both him and his wife were cut at the same time.  They lost their home.

    As for the commute, that sounds more of an excuse than a reason.  If you wanted the job, you'd go ahead and move.  You're just looking for a reason to not take this job.  Which is fine.  Just be honest with yourself.  

  • Tavy
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Simple, tell them thank you but your present company is short staffed and you don't want to let them down.

    Leave it at that.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Just respond with the truth.

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