Something's wrong with the way I argue, How do I fix it?
I think I have a problem that needs identifying in order to be fixed. I don't know if it's narcissism (although I don't have a high opinion of myself) or something else.
when having a discussion or an argument on a subject (any subject) I tend (70% of the time) to respond by saying "no" or "that's incorrect" and sometimes " yes but" (+ then my argument) even when the first argument is valid but incomplete.
It got to the point where I rephrase the same exact point made seconds earlier much to the amusement of my interlocutors. I come across as full of myself but I swear I do this subconsciously.
How do I fix this?
- ALv 72 months agoFavourite answer
during a civil discussion of a difference of opinion you should not say NO or tell someone it is incorrect or do the dreded Yes, But. Your sentences should start with " I believe I read or heard xxx, did have you read or seen this?" Don't repeat, you are not having a debate but hopefully a friendly discussion. you could throw in an " I think I understand your position, I see it this way"
- RWPossumLv 72 months ago
The word "argument" is used for entirely different things. There's formal argument heard in courtrooms and college debating societies and then there's the garden variety argument, which is much like Macbeth's description of "a tale told by an idiot" - "full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." It's rather like a dog barking at it's reflection in a mirror.
"Nobody wins an argument."
- Dale Carnegie, in How to Win Friends and Influence People
Carnegie's classic, a best-seller for generations -
- 2 months ago
stop arguing all together
PRACTICE subject changing and study up on Innocuous things like the weather and the best tasting jam or candy bar,
this skill helps later,, my mom never liked me and we seldom enter acted with each others over the past 60 years - why is not important
now she is old, her favorite son and favorite daughter both died (in bad way drinking)
my other sister does all sort of the tough things to take care of her
me I do less... but she get confused and is sad at times,,, I learned to not allow her to talk about things her make her unhappy -- I change the subject
narcissism ,, well first if you do not like your self ,, you will never be good company,,
but if your self serving selfish that need to be suppressed
and talking about the bugs in the garden is a good way to do that learn to realize you are not the center of the world just the center of your world and other people are not their to serve you
in the end the old saying if you have nothing good to say,, say nothing at all
(stop arguing all together) if they are wrong let them be wrong and happy about it