Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 2 months ago

I have settled for less in life.?

I need to vent and I feel like there's place to do it in my real life so I have to ask for advice on the internet..

When I was younger.. I was so free spirited. I loved life so much, and I was always eccentric, always laughing. I didn't really care what people thought of me. 

I still, show glimpses of my old self. But feel I have "sold out" abit in my heart. I stopped being me I suppose.. My fiance now. (Who I love don't get me wrong) is a very set in her ways type of person.. I need to live life by the books and have to have a very scheduled, very plain sort of life. I sort of just for the last few years have taken it. I don't dress how I want to dress, I can't post anything on social media that's a little abnormal or it's "embarrassing" I feel abit trapped. She means well, she does love me and has helped me but I feel stuck.. not just that but I went through a stage of getting hurt from heaps of people and once upon a time I would of shrugged it off. I've had a tough last few years, deaths in the family and what not. I guess I just lost my spark, and any intuition to leap into the unknown is gone. I am 26 almost 27 now and feel as if it's now or never to start or just be complacent.

Any advice you could give me?

I'm a prisoner in my own mind and life..

6 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    From what you've written, it sounds as though you are not happy in this relationship. If you are not happy with a person before you marry them, there's a very big chance you will not be happy afterwards. Life it short and you owe it to yourself to be with someone who complements your character, makes you a better man and with whom you can exert a positive influence.   The decision is obvious.  

  • 2 months ago

    I'll tell you something about the Chinese that you might find interesting. There are two very different schools of thought - Confucianism and Daoism. The first one is all about a strict code of conduct and the other is all about spontaneity. You might think that Confucians and Daoists fight a lot, but the Chinese found a way to reconcile them. The idea is that when a man is young he should learn to follow Confucian ethics and manners, but later on in life he should study Daoism and loosen up.  Maybe your time to loosen up hasn't come yet, but I have a feeling that it will, and it will be the right thing for you.

  • 2 months ago

    Adhere to the Golden Rule. don't do to others what you would hate others doing to you. If you aren't harming anyone, dance like no one is watching, say things you think are true regardless of what others think. Try to be spontaneous every now and again. Start engaging in exciting activities. If your fiance can't handle the freer, real you, then she is the wrong woman for you.

    Love many [ in your heart]

    Trust few

    Harm none.

  • 2 months ago

    You feel stuck because of her.

    Drop her.

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  • 2 months ago

    Everything you are feeling is tied to your know you should end it..but because you put so much time into it you are afraid to walk away.  You can love someone and not be right for sound exactly like my brother before he got divorced.  so thats why I think its about the girl..if you have to walk on egg shells in your own can never be free

  • 2 months ago

    Now you may have an idea what most folks are dealing with.

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