Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

I've put walls up against my bf?

We had a very rough start to our relationship. He was a crap boyfriend whose temper tantrums ended up traumatising me. So we broke up. He got help, and after a year of letting him back in little by little we finally had an amazing relationship. He was a different person, he was considerate and sweet, and always put me first. It was the happiest I'd been in my life. We finally had a healthy relationship. But then came Covid. He struggled with being home all the time and then just snapped. He was cold and unfeeling and I felt like a stranger in my own home. 

It took him 2 weeks to tell me it was depression but by that time the damage was done. I was heartbroken. For weeks I thought he was done with me. So I researched depression and found out that withrawing from your partner was normal. He just didn't have the skills to pull himself out. It took 2 weeks to get him back to normal. Now he's back to the wonderful boyfriend I had before. But I'm closed off. That 3-4 weeks took me back to our terrifying former relationship. And it shocked me, I didn't think he could ever hurt me again, let alone retraumatize me. I feel nothing, just as I did when we got back together. I know i love him but there's nothing there on a deeper level. My walls are so high that nothing good reaches me. It's killing me because i know normally things are great, that when my walls are down this is the man I want to marry. 

Does anyone have any advice on learning to trust again or taking walls down? 

3 Answers

  • Tj
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    He needs to seek professional help, and maybe eve some medication. See if you can get him to get the help.

  • 🦋
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    At this point it's best to move on because he will never change even tho he keeps trying he will crash again 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    maybe you shouldnt be with him then

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