Was this rude or am I being too sensitive ?

I was ordering a new work shirt the other day and my coworker said "why don't you order a (size larger than what I was ordering) because you never stay the same weight anyway".

I've lost about 25 pounds this year and yes, my weight fluctuates a lot.  But I feel like by ordering one my size now, it'll be more motivation to stay thinner.  If I get a bigger size, it'll subconsciously make me think I've got all this room to fit into so what's a couple pounds.  I know how my mind works after going through this for years.  

I mean maybe she was just trying to be nice and  be helpful and I'm probably being too sensitive about it but my weight has always been a huge issue to me and I hate when people acknowledge it. 


I've never once brought up my weight to anyone at work other than mentioning that I had an eating disorder for years.  

Update 2:

You fill out a paper form for the shirt and it takes like 2 minutes.  I'm not sitting there getting paid to shop around. 

6 Answers

  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    You're being too sensitive. Her intention was to be helpful, not insulting. Only a fool takes offense where there was no intention to be offensive. 

    That you "hate it" when people notice your weight, notice changes in your weight, is YOUR problem. There is no way for people to NOT notice obvious characteristics like skin color, hair style, height, weight, etc. 

  • denise
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Say, its my money and I'd like to wear this shirt / size, you could say I'll give it to a charity shop when / if it no longer fits!

  • 1 month ago

    A bit of both.  Your co-worker wasn't trying to hurt your feelings.  At least in her own mind she was trying to be helpful.  Was it inappropriate for her to comment at all on your online shopping? Yes. Should you have been shopping while at work? No.  

    Anyone who has struggled with weight issues and fluctuating weigh is generally very sensitive to any comment that relates to their size.  That's normal but it can also cause you pain when none was intended. 

  • drip
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    What size shirt you order isn’t going to make you loose weight  or gain it. 

    Buy the size shirt the fits you. 

    They should not have offered any suggestion to you,  it at the same time it doesn’t sound like they were trying to insult you or make you feel bad. 

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  • 1 month ago

    You nailed it.  The intent of the speaker is often different from the perception of the listener.  Your friend could have very well had the best intentions to help you with her suggestion, but due to your sensitivity on the issue of your weight, you perceived it as insulting/rude. She may not understand what it is like to lose a bunch of weight knowing half the celebration is buying smaller clothes.  BTW, Congrats on your success. 

    PS  It doesn't matter whether or not you talk about an issue if others are present to witness it.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i think you should order whatever you want

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