How do I get over this feeling?

So I’m a gay guy and I have a fear that I might be taken advantage of sexually and used. That any top may never show me any true love, and may only stay for the short-term. 

5 Answers

  • Jake
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    That has nothing to do with rape as long as you consent it’s legal

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Don’t give your heart to just anyone. A long term relationship should be based on trust and experience with the person. So dating someone for a while along with an active dialogue with prospects are in order to communicate and find out what they want. You have to observe not just what they say - but what they actually do. If you were to run a company would you hire the first people that said yes to be your lawyer or accountant or run your warehouse with out vetting them properly or looking at their resumes? If I told you to your face I was serious about a healthy life style yet you never saw me exercise and ate nothing but bad food - would you believe me words for too long? 

    Also try and expand your network by meeting guys in the caring parts of the lgbt community like gay community centers, pro lgbt churches and meditation centers, lgbt charities and lgbt rec leagues and clubs. The cheap apps and late night dance bars should not be your only sources to find the guy to take home to mom.

    And yeah - it might happen. If you jump in sack with someone short term - this might be the case. Bath houses are filled with bottoms on a saturday night who will willing let a top say wham bam thank you sir. If you get in a quick fling - don’t give him your heart. There is no harm. We’re all guys.its going to happen. But your heart should only go to him if after that short term fling he demonstrates that he wants a long term relationship over time. 

    And frankly, if you were to give a guy your heart after a quick fling that would represent a lack of judgement on your part. The other guy would rightfully be concerned about wanting to stay with someone who would so easily want to be in such a long term commitment. 

  • Sky
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    With experience.  By meeting other guys, getting to know them and understand their personalities, and paying attention to how they treat you and others long before you two ever get into the bedroom, you can assess whether he'll be gentle and loving and treat you as an equal when you are in the bedroom.  And then when you experience a beautiful lovemaking session with the right guy who treats you with love and respect, you'll see that your fear was just a phobia.  When you're dating the guy and getting to know each other, make sure he knows what you expect and hope for out of the relationship (long term romance with true love between you, a relationship of equals, etc.).  If he keeps pushing for sex and doesn't want to build a strong relationship first, that's a big red flag that you should walk away from that relationship.

    But if you rush into the bedroom as soon as you meet any guy without taking any time to get to know him or allow the relationship to develop with romantic love, it's entirely your fault if you get mistreated because you did nothing to ensure he was the kind of guy who wouldn't.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Just in case you're not a troll, I will give you a serious answer.  Many women might have the same feeling about straight men taking advantage of them, but the stats are pretty clear that this is not the norm with gay men.  No still means no even in gay life.  The answer is pretty straight forward about long term relationships.  Just don't jump into bed with a guy on the first or second meeting.  Get to know him.  Go for guys that share your values and interests.  Sexual relations should be secondary if what you want is a long term relationship.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Well, you could work on reducing your attractiveness. That way other men wouldn’t be chasing after you just because you’re good looking.

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