? asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 6 months ago

My parents always check my bank?

Hello, I'm 18 and my parents constantly check my bank account, they will even moan if I have spent only £1 on a drink. 

They constantly tell me to find a job instead of staying on at my current one, which I do, I am on Indeed every day and apply for at least 5 jobs a day. However, they still moan that I do not have one, even after telling them all the applying I do, they act like I can force someone to give me a job?

They are even trying to force me to do Travel & Tourism at college, when I do not want to do travel one bit, I have said that I want to do a Nursing course but they have told me I'm not smart enough for a Nursing course, so I'm not going to bother with it and am trying to find a full-time job instead, instead of college and a part-time job.

They have told me that when I get a job I have to start paying for everything, such as rent, help with bills, my phone bill, clothes, haircuts, dentist etc. Which I wouldn't mind if they told my brother to do the same. He is 21 next month, has 2 jobs, sometimes makes around £200 a day, yet they only make him SOMETIMES (maybe once a month) pay for his petrol, and nothing else.

I personally do not think I am a bad person/child, I respect my parents even though they are not nice to me, I completed my college course, I have a job, I have good friends, I am trying to find a new job, I'm not disrespectful etc.

Should I open a new account that they do not have access to?

If so, how do I do this?

Thank you,hope you are well and safe:)

6 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    maybe you should change your password so they cant look at it

  • 6 months ago

    Why the hell would you give anyone your bank account info? Go to a different bank get a new account and cancel the old one. Dont give your parents the new account info either. You are an adult they no longer have a right to take control over your money. Tell them if your brother doesnt have to pay then you shouldnt have to either. Stop being a doormat.

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    I suppose........

  • 6 months ago

    You are far more likely to succeed at something you love and enjoy that at something you don't! How old were they when their own parents finally let go? That was a while ago, of course, and things have changed - just as they had since their own parents' time!

    Here are some general suggestions I make to younger teens in case you might get some helpful ideas from them. Ask to have a serious discussion with your parents about how they see things panning out in the coming months and years. It needs to be fairly rational, so if one of you becomes too emotional (e.g. angry) it would be best to time out and try again another time. Prepare in advance what you would like to say and ask: write a plan, even.

    As you reach each birthday, for example, or each new school year, what rights, freedoms and responsibilities will you have? Chores, pocket money, curfews, dating, etc. will all come into it, obviously. You can't really expect something for nothing, so think about what you can put into the family and household as part of your negotiations as to what you can get.

    If you are to grow into a responsible adult, it must be a gradual process: if they keep you wrapped up in cotton wool and then suddenly let you out of the box at eighteen, you won't have enough experience to know how to handle it.

    That said, your parent(s) is/are responsible for your safety and welfare during this time: no doubt they love you and they themselves have the experiences you don't yet. Seeing things on t.v. and hearing your friends' (exaggerated?) stories aren't quite the same.

    If they don't want to do this, ask them if they will please consider a plan and talk again in a week or so. All plans need to be a little flexible, as unexpected things can happen, of course.

    Hopefully this will show that you have a maturing attitude to your family and your life.

    Good Luck!

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    You go into a bank and ask how to open a new account.  You do not give your parents the bank account number or any passcodes to the account.

    How did you do in school? How do you do in biology and math. Do you think you can handle the work for nursing? Then go do it. 

    I have no idea what nursing pays where you are, but anywhere nurses usually have no problem finding a job,

    Always try to follow up on your application. Go to the public library and research how to write a resume, how to interview, how to get a job.

    My daughter had an account of her own and one that we had access to, so we could easily put money into as we wanted to.   

    At 18 you should have an account of your own.  Learn how to budget.  Know where your money is going to go before spending it. 

    Education or training is needed if you are going to get ahead.  You may need to put up with  home life for awhile if you want to be independent 

  • ?
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Your parents are strict, military style.  It will teach you discipline and self-confidence.

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