Is this rude?

Hey! So basically I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 27. We're both in the process of saving up to move out which we're well on the way to doing, however through lockdown I moved into his mums house as he had invited me to so we wouldn't have to go for months without seeing one another.

So its been 4 months now and im finally back at my own house. Its been difficult living in someone else's house as you never feel 100% comfortable and feel that you're trying to keep others happy a lot of the time. But now back in my own comfort zone!

So I booked a table at a restaurant on Sunday for me and my boyfriend to have a little date night as we have just been stuck together in the house all the time, but hes invited his dad along....... he's had an argument with someone else in the family so my boyfriend felt bad, but then because he asked his dad hes now invited all the family!

I find it really rude that I planned a date night for us, then hes invited all his own family along that ive socialised and constantly been with through lockdown barely seeing my own family.

Anyway I've told him that I am going to sit this one out as I really just wanted a quiet meal with my boyfriend, not a big social gathering. Am I right for being this irritated?

5 Answers

  • 2 months ago

    I don't find it anymore rude than your living with and sponging off his family for several weeks! If nothing else, after them inviting you to stay in their house all that time you decide to skip a date because they are coming along!? If I were one of his parents I wouldn't want you in my house again after that crap!

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You are absolutely correct.  I agree.  Create an issue now rather than wait until later.  Let his father form an impression of who and what you are NOW rather than later.  You owe his father nothing!

    And the entire family?  What did they ever do for you - well, other than feeding and sheltering you during the lockdown.

    And, yes, if you are "basically" (as opposed to, I supposed, unbasically) 24 and 27 and can't afford to MOVE OUT, refuse to participate in expensive dinners.

    I moved out at 18.  My mother is toxic.

    You are right.  Your bf is not worthy of you.  Basically move on.

  • Tj
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Yes, you are right. Your bf was way wrong on this...if anything he should have talked to you, since it was you set up, not his...time to rethink him and the future. Looks like family comes first, where will you stand in the future?

  • 2 months ago

    Yeah, he might have misinterpreted your intentions behind the meal, thought it was going out for a bite and not alone time or a date but you still have the right to be disappointed. If he didnt realise that was the intention it's hard to me mad at him for it but if he knew the intention and invited them all anyway hes been pretty inconsiderate of your feeling or needs.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    It sounds as though you have a very good reason to be upset with what he has done.

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