Why do I hate food and eating?
I'm currently 16, and in summer 2017 when I was 13, I had eating issues. At that time I had really bad self-esteem and absolutely HATED my body.
When I got into high school, I think that was the final nail in the coffin for my eating issues. In 8th grade I skipped meals when I felt like I looked too fat that day, in 9th grade I ate diet bars for lunch, skipped dinner, limited my portions. In 9th grade my eating issues and self-eestem were at their worst because I was constantly bullied by my peers, thought I was ugly, had no friends, and every time I went to school I felt this sort of numb sadness bubbling up in my chest.
In 10th grade things got sort of better because I found myself a friend. Even if things got better in 10th grade, I was still obsessed with looking skinny. I'm not fat but not skinny either, but I've always wanted to lean over to the skinny side. In 10th grade when I was sad, I didn't cope by eating a lot, I stopped eating because the thought of eating food when I was sad made me feel sick. I just didn't feel like eating.
In quarantine most food is just bland to me. I only eat because I have to. Thinking about eating makes me feel sick too. I also go to bed REALLY LATE, and don't wake up until the day is almost over. If I'm hungry when the day ends, I end up eating a full sized meal at night. My parents know about my sleeping schedule, and they know that I only eat a little bit during the day, but they don't know that I eat food when they go to sleep.
- Mike GLv 72 months ago
You have an eating disorder.