Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

He was the love of my life but I wasn't his?

 I met this guy 8 years ago and he was the love of my life. We had a 'almost relationship' but it was the wrong time for us to take it further. He then moved away but we kept in touch, he then got distant with me and we dont speak anymore. problem is i have dated but i don't find that connection with anyone as i did with him. I have cried over this man for 8 years now and i feel empty without him by my side. he has uploaded some pictures on social media today and m heart shreds everytime i see them, i have spent all day crying over him. my gut feeling is that he was the one for me and he was/is the love of my life even though he won't see me as his. I am 41 years old and he is 42 we are both still single! my rent contract is finishing soon and all i want to do is move to his town and start a life with him, but we don't speak now and he isnt interested in me, HOW do i continue with this gut feeling i have met the love of my life but I wasn't his? I can't move on.

5 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    That isn’t how life works my god you are too old to still be thinking that way. 

  • 2 months ago

    You are trapped in a moment that happened 8 years ago, it's time to free yourself from that. He is living his life while you are stagnant and mourning over the death of an almost relationship. Why are you doing that to yourself? You are wasting your tears. Stop putting your energy into wanting to be with this individual, stop focusing on this person. You need to focus on you, on your health and your happiness.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You are your own worst enemy here.  You call him the "love of your life", but you never even had a relationship?!  Also, it sounds like almost all of this is long distance?  You've created the perfect man in your head, and nobody will ever measure up to him.  He's not the love of your life, nor is he even someone you love.  You love the IDEA of him.  In other words, this has been a convenient arrangement where you feel like you're in a committed loving relationship, which props you up.  But it's all fake, which is why you're so upset right now.

    I don't know if you need counseling or not, but if you say no, you've got to figure out why you've become so emotionally invested in something that never was.  The only person you're hurting is yourself.

  • 2 months ago

    It seems you're obsessed with this guy, and have him up on some impossible pedestal.  He's just a guy with faults and issues like the rest of the people in the world.  And after eight years, you could have put yourself out there, dated around and you could have met any number of guys you'd like and felt compatible with.  But you didn't, because you're choosing to live in your past, not in the present.  And refusing to move on.  

    There isn't just one person in the world we are compatible with and who we can love.  

    You say you CAN'T move on... well you never will if that's what you believe, because what we believe in this life, we make true.

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  • 2 months ago

    It sounds like you should really find someone to talk to about this...a counselor or therapist...to help you move on and accept that this man is not going to be in your life. If it helps, remember that there are no "soulmates". There are multiple people around that you could and might establish a deep, abiding, love relationship with but if you continue to believe that he was the only 'love of your life', you will never allow yourself to meet them or progress in your life. Take the leap. Start talking to a professional. Good luck!

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