Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

What to do about my father? Always wants to be with me?

My father is 63 years old and recently retired. I am happy and proud of him but that’s not enough for him. He wants to spend all his time with me & learn everything from me. The problem is I recently have a girlfriend who is pregnant with my baby. This requires a lot of my time. I don’t want any to be an asshole and leave my pregnant girlfriend alone. My father demands me to go hang out in Mexico with him for a month. I truly cannot I am young and barley started my career, I also have to find a place to live with my girlfriend. My dad gives me dirty looks now. Gives me a bad vibe. Throws tantrums. What do I do?

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  • 2 months ago
    Favourite answer

    Your dad is only 63 years old, and if he's in decent health, then he ought to be just fine.  I'm 63 too.... I'm fine on my own. I have two kids but they have families and i'm not going to intrude on that all the time.

    Tell your Dad that you have family obligations to your lady and your unborn child, and that, while you love him and care very much, your priorities lie at home right now.  if he throws a tantrum, he does. 

    Besides, this is a terrible time in the world for anyone to be traveling or exposing themselves to other people, considering the pandemic. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I wish you had given your age, because this always matters.  Overall, though, once a baby enters the picture, priorities change quickly.  You, your gf and that baby are like a family unit, and this has to come first.  You owe this to your child.

    So you need to learn to set boundaries with him.  This doesn't have to be an argument or anything, but he needs to understand you have very different priorities right now.  This means you be firm.  You can be there for him, but never at the expense of your child.  Sometimes it helps to point out "Dad, you're the one who taught me these values".  I used that myself once.

    Also, he's still young and he may be bored with retirement.  Another thing you could do is try to help him come up with ideas.   Heck, I have an aunt who's his age, and she took in a couple of tenants in that age group (carefully screened).  It's a lady and a man, and it's been over 2 years.  They're having a blast and even took a cruise last year.  The more he has going on, the less he'll fixate on you.

  • 2 months ago

    It sounds like your father might be having some emotional or psychological difficulties, and could use some counseling. If you're able to convince him to talk to someone, I would do that.

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