Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

Guys would you date a girl who's somewhat overweight?

I'm 5'5 and I weigh 225lbs. I've always been athletic in my teens and I just let myself go after I hit depression. I'm 25 and I still suffer. My parents are both dead and I dont have anyone. My dad died when I was a baby and my mom died when I was 18. She had heart problems and passed away 2 weeks after my birthday. 

I've been alone for quite some time. I really want to start being happy again. I cant seem to find guys that are attracted to me. Believe me, I go after the most unattractive guys and they even shoo me away. I met a 31 year old who's single and even though he was obese, even he rejected me after a few dates. I'm fat but I dont look extremely bad. It doesn't look nice either but my face is not bad looking. I've been trying to lose weight and I keep getting discouraged after. Its really hard when you're all alone and constantly overthinking. Food helps me when I'm alone and that's why I want to be in a relationship so I can start caring more. I feel hopeless.

14 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    You don't get into a relationship as a form of therapy. Taking care of yourself is the best therapy. I was overweight for 20 years, obese for the last 10, and when I finally started taking care of myself by quitting junk food and quitting overeating, and adding in exercise that I enjoy, it did wonders for my confidence. As I slowly (VERY slowly) lost weight, that confidence improved, and those things continued to feed each other - confidence enabled me to maintain my efforts, and my small gradual successes grew my confidence. 

    When you have confidence in yourself is when people around you will start to be attracted to you. 

    You've got to start with YOU. Getting a boyfriend will not help improve your life. Making friends with YOURSELF and being good to yourself by caring about your own health is the only thing that will start you on the path to being happier. 

    Best of luck to you. You're lucky you're still so young. I didn't start caring about myself until my late 40s! 

  • zvo
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Attraction is independent of most things.  If you're 1.5m tall you're overweight - talking about your health, not your appearance.  Take advantage of your weight in various sports and activities.  Go for things you can do well in, remembering nothing is instant and the best things are those in which you had to struggle to achieve.

    It's very hard to make friends if you put yourlef in the 'poor me' category

  • Ann
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    What you need to work on before anything else is your depression.  Seek out a therapist who can help you.  You might also talk to your dr. about getting a mild antidepressant medication to help you.  I would also advise you to join some groups.  If you have a hobby, find other people who also enjoy that and get together.  If you're religious at all, join a church and go to activities for people in your age group.  Get some exercise by going walking every day, for about 30 minutes.  That will also help your depression.  Your dr. might help you by referring you to a nutritionist.  When you make some friends and find some groups you're comfortable with, you won't feel so desperate to have a boyfriend.  Finally, you  might look into Overeaters Anonymous.  They're a group that can really help you deal with emotional eating.  Good luck to you. 

  • Tj
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Its up to you to seek a therapist to help you over your past, so you can feel good about yourself and improve your mind and body. Get the help, you deserve to be happy in life and have a family.     Please try.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    if i was a guy i would be more interested in the person than how much they weighed

  • 2 months ago

    I am sorry to hear about the loss of your father and mother. I am sure you are still mourning the loss and feeling the emptiness of them not being there.  And you said that it is part of your problem of living alone and feeling hopeless that you eat. To go on diets is a difficult thing, but to try to live more healthier is easier. So try doing that. Go regularly for a walk . Get out the door and smell the fresh air. Go to a beautiful park. Enjoy the scenery and relax. Look on line , or in cookbooks thaT you have for healthy soups and salads. Make a list and force yourself only to buy healthy foods. Cut up vegetables in strips like carrots, cucumber, celery , tomatoes. And snack on these. Have soups ready for when you get hungry in between. Drink enough water and make herbal teas you can sip on during the day. Get busy, start reading, writing, drawing, painting, walking , cycling , swimming and things like this. You will find that you loose weight slowly and feel healthier and happier. Join yourself to positive people and see the good in others. This will take time but you will start feeling better and better. Once you are happy within yourself you will be able to start a relationship. At the moment you are probably not ready yet. Be patient and try to be positive . Before you know it you will be a changed person.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Keep looking 

    Yes guys do go after skinny good looking girls but not all of them will find that. 

    There's loads of fat unattractive guys who keep trying to get hot girls but always end up getting rejected so they give up and find a girl that will truly care for them. 

    You'll find him 

  • 2 months ago

    Sure, Character and personality is more important. Losing weight is not easy, especially if you are alone and have no one to encourage you and push you, but as long as you don't give up and keep trying, that's enough.

    So hang in there and keep pushing forward, you will find someone soon, but it the meantime keep on getting back into shape, one step at a time, one day at a time, you will reach your goals.

  • 2 months ago

    You need to find some hobbies besides food and putting your body in the male heavyweight boxing division weight class.

  • 2 months ago

    Probably won't happen until you lose the weight. good news is, it doesn't take long to lose weight.. Maybe a year or two at most and you'll start getting those nice curves back, then you'll be irresistible. Or just keep doing what you're doing and be miserable. The choice is yours.

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