Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

My husband sexually assaulted me while he was drunk. Should I press charges and separate temporary? I forgive him, but I still feel hurt.?

It’s been 3 days and I’m still beyond sore. My husband raped me in the middle of sex. I can’t sit comfortably. I had Bloody underwear the last 2 days and  It stings so much that I’m afraid to eat and have to use the bathroom. I’m embarrassed that I may need stitches or something but it hurts when I try to look. It just stings!! 

When I told him what he did the next morning he just lookEd at me all stupid and apologized. Said he didn’t know. But He asked me before and I always said no. Always! He know better but I feel like he just did it anyway. Now my *** hurt and I’m pissed.. I feel like throwing hot bowling water on him or shoving a broom up his *** while he sleep. 

14 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 month ago

    That’s really not good. First, get yourself checked by a (female) doctor, if you’re injured internally it could lead to a fistula.

    Secondly, his treatment of you is a danger signal which suggests a serious lack of respect and concern for your emotional and physical wellbeing, and which might manifest again. Forced sex might be a secret fantasy for him.

    Consider insisting that you both see a relationship counsellor.

    Boundaries need to be established.

    If he refuses you might have to ask yourself if you can continue to live with him.

  • 1 month ago

    What do you mean you always said no? Nobody can tell you if you should press charges. You shouldn't be in a relationship with a guy you have to fear might rape you for any reason. Any. Drunk. On PCP, if you cheat. You should be sure your husband wouldn't rape you, or kill you, or harm you in any viscous way other than shout, cry, maybe break some things and leave you.

    Edit: I am always fascinated with why didn't you fight him off people? Do people think women suddenly turn into ninjas when a 10 times stronger human is about to assault them? Why do most women not fight off their rapist? Same reason women don't compete against men in sports. Men a much stronger than women.

  • 1 month ago

    Dam that's messed up girl, but don't press charges. 

  • Athena
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Why separate temporally?  You are going to press charges.  It is over.

    File the papers and move out. 

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • Tj
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Id divorce him. He is lucky I did not cut it off for him. Take some kind of weapon to bed from now on, protect yourself. Why did you not fight him off?

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If it's been a few days it may be too late to gather the evidence to press charges. But you should see a doctor and you must see a divorce lawyer. He might just decide to kill you next time. 

  • 1 month ago

    he is in the wrong and he raped you, go to the doctors because you come first, its your decision whether to press charges but don't feel embarrassed or ashamed to confront him and hold him accountable for his actions he sexually assaulted you and that is never okay.

  • 2 months ago

    Really drunk men can be quite violent. Not often able to get really hard. And blackout drunk is far, far more rare than pretended. You need to go to a doctor immediately. Please do that. Find out how YOU are first thing. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    If you want any kind of normal relationship to continue you should not get the law involved.  That will change everything, forever.  And it will be all out of your control too.

    However, this doesn't excuse what he did.  I would probably go with your boiling water, or broom stick plan instead.

    If you are done with him and the marriage, then by all means, go the legal route.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Police for sure. Don’t wait. 

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.