I want to start a new life but I have circumstances and don't know how to go about it.?
I don't know how to live. I'm 21 already. But I'm still living with my parents. I feel so suffocated here. Me and my family are not close. The only time either of us speak to each other is when one of us wants something from the other. The only exception is when we pass by each other and say hi or when were in the same room doing our own thing. In other words were practically strangers living under the same roof. I wouldn't go so far as to call us roommates. My dad is an alcoholic. I rarely ever talk to my mom. My brother that shares some of my interests but is very mean and my sister is extremely bitchy. I'm the youngest. Which my brother, my sister, her boyfriend and her kids are also living in the same house. They are always creating messes
I want to leave this place. But I have no idea how to function in society. No idea how to survive. If I go and leave without knowing anything about the world I'll just die or become a bum
I'm an extreme anti social introvert. When I talk to somebody I don't know what to say and things become awkward. I try and avoid leaving the attic because I don't like interacting with my family anymore. All I am is their pack mule/gofer Whenever I leave the attic They give me chores to do and as I said before that's almost all of our interactions together. My sister will ask me to do something, I usually do it but whenever I say no she flips out and starts talking about how I never help out or clean up Even though shes the one who makes the messes
when younger I use to watch a lot of anime..... After a few years I started reading manga. A more years I turned to light novels.... A few more years I started reading fan fiction..... My brother watches anime but we don't like each other. I tried making more common hobbies but I didn't like any of them. I always wanted to be like the character from the stories I read go out have an adventure make friends and have a loving family but I can't so I want to leave.
When I say my sister yells at me for never helping clean up.... She leaves food on the table for days McDonald's bags filled with trash. Baby diapers she just throws anywhere on the floor on the table on the counter. She leaves her mountain dew bottles all over. Dishes both filled with food and empty litter the tables for days. Then she gets angry and says I don't help clean up. She won't even bother putting leftover food away and just leaves it sitting out. I do most of the thing asked of me.
And when I do go down stair I clean up dog **** piss and do the dishes. She on the other hand complains about EVERYTHING yet never does anything about it. Complains that the house is dirty all the time yet she leaves food on the table for days. Complains about the dogs getting into the trash yet gets angry when someone takes it out of the kitchen where the dogs are whenever were sleeping. Complains about the dishes never being done when I do them all the time yet she refuses to do them her self.
I'm not a perfect person either. I'm fat. I have no self esteem and every now and then when my bitchy sister snaps at me I snap back. which always ends up in a yelling match. Until she drives me back up stair into my attic. I'm also not the smartest person, Again I'm an anti social introvert and I can't interact with people. I have no determination and lack willpower. I also for some reason can't leave mt house without a jacket on... I'm not sure if it's self esteem issues. I'm ashamed I think.