Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 2 months ago

My friend is visiting my snobby Mom for tea -  but he doesn't know how to use a cup and saucer?  Should I tell him before he goes?

His manners are terrible (we are both 42) but he is kind enough to want to visit my elderly mother (77) for tea. I am overseas. But his manners are very bad he would most likely slurp tea out of a cup and plonk it down separate to the saucer on the table. 

My mother is the type of person who would notice "bad manners" and I'm sure she will make some hint about "the type" of people I know or like or hang out with or some such comment at a later stage, and in a heated exchange will go low: Tell me how she has done X and Y for me, sending me "to the best schools"  and on and on, and how "manners maketh the man", correcting and making other inferences and passive aggressive suggestions. 

Should I give my friend a head's up and tell his "hey just make sure you put the cup down on the saucer"? 

He lost his own mother recently and I guess he feels low and wants to be a good friend to visit her. Funny thing is my mother will be happy to see him and have company and will make a big fuss of her. However, when he reveals bad manners in front of her, I'm going to find out from her at a later stage (by some oblique comment) and this is stressing me out.   

8 Answers

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Has he asked you to assist him on his manners? It isn’t up to you or your mother to teach him table manners.  

    If you don’t want to take the grief and guilt from your mother, don’t bring friends over she won’t approve of. 

    To ask your friend to behave differently you are being a snob too

  • G R
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Hes a big boy he can figure it out

  • Edna
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You must believe your friend is very dumb, if you think he doesn't know how to drink tea from a cup. 

  • 2 months ago

    A good friend would take the time to teach good manner if going somewhere where good manners are expected.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You're forty-two years old and decide for yourself who you want to be friends with.  As far as your friend, I would seriously tell him to hold off on visiting her in light of the pandemic.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    i would try not to worry about it, at least hes keeping her company

  • 2 months ago

    There is a pandemic going on at the moment. I would discourage visits to elderly people. 

  • 2 months ago

    You would be surprised what people will put up with just to have some company.

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